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Chicago is getting hammered by snow this weekend. I walked out the door this morning to a solid seven inches on my front patio, and the accumulation is still climbing. The sidewalks aren’t shoveled, and only a few souls have been toeing the line between dumb and brave to try and drive anywhere. Duda said it best in his column (that, admittedly, I didn’t read) when he told us all to pull a Shining and hole up in a nice hotel this weekend.
However, there is another option, and it’s one I chose long before any snow was ever predicted: Run. Get out of town and hide from this treacherous weather. Specifically, I’m heading to Mardi Gras.
Now, before we all jump on board the Charlie Goes To Mardi Gras Hype Train, I need to establish a few things. The first is that this is not the legendary Mardi Gras that they tell tales about late at night in college. I’m not going to New Orleans or anything. I wish I were, but that’s a pretty penny to cough up when I’m saving for a trip to Europe this spring. I’ll be roughing it, taking the six-hour train ride from Chicago to St. Louis this evening.
I’ll be honest, I’m a little apprehensive about this trip. I don’t know what to expect. None of us do, really. There are five of us heading down from Chicago to meet up with two of my college buddies who now live in St. Louis, plus another two coming in from Columbia. Speaking on behalf of myself, I didn’t even know that St. Louis had a Mardi Gras celebration until I moved to Missouri for school. Personally, I’m picturing something like Chicago’s Twelve Bars Of Christmas bar crawl, only with beads this time.
But this whole notion of not knowing what to expect goes much deeper than just “is this going to be utter bedlam in the streets.” The fact is, the majority of our crew is 24, pushing 25 years old. For the longest time, we’ve been dialing it back when we go out drinking, fearing the crushing hangover that we’ll likely incur the next day. Okay, maybe I’m just speaking for myself, but I think I’m washed up. I’m pretty sure a bunch of my other friends think that, too, they’re just not ready to admit it yet.
That’s where Brett comes in. Brett is 23 years old and he’s been a controversial part of our group for years. I’m bringing Brett up because that’s who we’re staying with, and that’s who’s going to be the boost of momentum we need to act like idiots once again. He’s the shot of adrenaline that wakes up Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. The second cup of coffee that opens your eyes a little wider. The fart you let out during a race to help you run faster.
Brett is controversial because he takes no prisoners. He doesn’t just want to have a good time, he wants to have the best time anyone has ever had, and he wants you there with him (most of the time). Our current game plan is to wake up and get to a Kegs and Eggs by 9:00 in the morning and play the whole rest of the day by ear. I’m terrified, but somewhat comforted, by the fact that the whole group is excited about this. If we’re all completely ham sandwiched together, there’s no reason we can’t stand in unison to fight the impending hangover, right?
Sure, I’ve got other hesitations on my mind. More questions that I’m afraid to ask for fear of looking anything other than “laid back.” Do you wear coats? Or is it more of a layers thing? How are we going to fit four air mattresses in one room? Is my girlfriend going to like my friends from college? You know, the usual stuff.
I knew I was going to be drinking a lot this weekend. The second the idea of going to Mardi Gras was even brought up, I had a sneaking suspicion that it was going to be a bender. Nobody explicitly said it, but the thought was always there. We’re drinking on the train there, hitting the bars once we arrive, starting the next morning bright and early, and riding that wave for the 36 hours after that. If I were a gambling man, I would place bets on someone (me) puking on the train ride back home. However, that’s a Sunday Charlie problem.
Friday Afternoon Charlie is ready for a Hurricane. Wish me luck..
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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Did Mardi Gras in STL the past 2 years and let me tell it to you straight, you’re gonna wish you were dead come Sunday. I’m sitting this year out after my 4+ hour blackout last year.
On behalf of all Brett’s, this guy is doing a real solid for our brand. Of all the others I’ve ever encountered, it goes one of two ways: major douche stick in the mud, or let’s watch the world burn together.
What social media platform will be most updated during this trip? I’d love to follow you through your journey just to feel alive again. My body is far too gone to even think about Mardi Gras
All of the above tbh
STL Mardi Gras veteran here. Prepare yourself for several hundred thousand people crammed into a neighborhood known for being a drunken shitshow. It’s an awesome time. Some quick pieces of advice:
-You can’t bring any booze into Soulard tomorrow. Cops don’t fuck around on this. Also do not take a piss anywhere outside.
-Make sure you see at least some of the parade. It goes down Broadway (east end of the neighborhood)
-There’s plenty of drink vendors on the street. We usually just roam around and pop in and out of bars or house parties
-Bars will have a cover, max is probably around $20. Most popular bars are McGurks, Molly’s, and Duke’s. These will all be packed with people in their 20s and will be the most expensive. Other bar recommendations: Hammerstone’s, 1860s, or any of the small dive bars. Will be cheaper and easier to get a drink/warm up
Good luck this weekend
As a seasoned veteran of Texas & Louisiana Mardi Gras (I live right on the border), St. Louis Mardi Gras sounds awful. Can’t bring your own booze? Cover charges? Can’t relieve yourself outdoors? No thank you.
Ya after going to the Gras in Nola I can’t imagine trying to replicate it elsewhere. And before somebody from Mobile tries to say Nola is a replication, I’ve already heard it. No it’s not.
Nola may be a replication but it’s become the standard with which all other Mardi Gras celebrations fall woefully short
Even though I’m too old to go to this, I really want to right now. God it’s only a 3 hour drive!!
take the train, staring down that drive back on Sunday is the worst feeling in the world
Soulard knows how to party
I thought I was going to urinate in my pants and end up on Fail Friday in the line for McGurk’s during Mardis Gras in the ‘Lou one year. Good Times. Good luck.
I’ll be looking for you in these St. Louis streets, Charles.
Me and three of my 25-year-old friends are also headed to Mardi Gras this weekend to die. A little birdy told me that the upstairs bar at Bourbon Cowboy has 3-1 beers so I’ll see you there.
whoops. didn’t read the article at all.
Got 5-1 beers in NOLA once. Don’t know if it was a deal or cause I was wearing a low cut shirt. Either way, I was about blacked out.
My buddy got the same deal one year. We were on a balcony and he knocked every single one off the balcony and it smashed on the ground. Like clockwork, every one he knocked off a bartender would come up with a styrofoam cup of beer and tell him to be more careful. It was the craziest shit I’ve ever seen.
Me neither. Now I look like a jackass right with ya
Kinda your fault, kinda the titles.
It’s going to be cold. It’s going to be drunk. Force your way (or pay, I guess) into a tent for free drinks. Have lots of gatorade waiting for you Sunday. God’s speed.