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Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co. All topics welcome.
I’m heading to Michigan at the end of the month for a golf weekend bachelor party. I’m psyched for the golf and seeing my friends, but not so thrilled by the rest of it, particularly the strip club. I’m not a fan of strip clubs; they make me uneasy and seem like a gigantic waste of money. I’m also an alcoholic (everyone on the trip knows) and have been sober for over a year, so getting wasted isn’t an option to make it more enjoyable. How do I decline this portion, and not get blackballed from future bachelor parties with this friend group? I’ll still go to the bar and instead, focus my energy on getting everyone else stupid drunk, but going to a strip club (with Northern Michigan talent) sober sounds like Hell on Earth. Also, the kicker: this is a Sunday- Monday trip, so the strip club and partying will occur during the finale of this season of Game of Thrones which I don’t want to miss.
Thanks, Dillon. <-- no extra "i" you psychos
First of all, good on you for the year of sobriety.
Being at a strip club completely sober sounds like an agonizing experience. Being at a strip club sober with people who are all drinking around you sounds like a nightmare. Being at a strip club sober with people who are all drinking AND being someone who gets uneasy in that environment already sounds like the worst night imaginable. They’re your close friends, right? Explain to them that you want to sit out the titter because it makes you uncomfortable. If you want to play the “I’m an alcoholic” card and say that being there will be difficult for you, then play it. They’ll understand, unless they’re monsters.
Dillon,
I was doing a pool day at my friend’s apartment complex in downtown Houston. We were getting a good soak in while sipping some brews and grilling carne asada for fajitas.
There was another crew building up a solid natty graveyard next to their Yeti soft bag – TFM. They rocked a Bluetooth speaker with a country summer playlist to provide tunes for the pool, which is what the environment needed. The only problem was every 15 minutes or so, a song would end and instead of George Strait coming on, the whole pool would be graced with an advertisement.
How sorry is this move? It deflated the vibe, and there wasn’t even an attempt to turn it down when it got to an ad. I was close to giving them my credit card number so they could subscribe, but we just decided to up and leave.
Natty Graveyard guys – if you’re reading, and I know you are, shout out your venmo and I’ll send ya $10.
I love this question. Love it.
What kind of broke dick asshole doesn’t subscribe to a premium music streaming service? It’s worth the 10 bucks just for the sole purpose of not being the guy who has commercials interrupting his shit. It’s just 10 dollars, man.
Look, when you hold the aux in a setting with a lot of people, or even in a small group, you have a serious responsibility. Playing the free version of Spotify is absolutely unacceptable. What were his boys doing while this was going on? As a friend, it is your responsibility to A) roast your boy for being a broke dick, and B) commandeer the aux with your own, commercial-free playlist.
Hey Dillon,
My office space is set up in cubicle “pods” (four people to a pod) and I’ve run into the problem where my coworkers in the next pod over are obnoxiously loud. Usually on a daily basis, I have no problem with this. However when it’s crunch time and I have a lot of work to push through, I really don’t want to be forced to listen to their conversations and distractions.
To give you a sense of their noisy behavior: one time one of the women played a video on her phone without headphones of her baby niece crying for what felt like upwards of 30 minutes, cooing at the video and showing it to everyone around her. I was going insane.
Normally I would pick up my laptop and move to a quieter location in the office when I have a lot of work to get done, but since I’m still (relatively) new at this job I have yet to receive a laptop from IT. Do I just need to put in my headphones and attempt to block out their loudness, or should I politely ask them to keep it down in the future? Since I’m new, I’m not trying to start any bad blood.
— Gritting my teeth and listening to a lot of loud music
Headphones. The lady with the nephew is literally the worst, but the headphones are your answer. When you live the cube life, they’re a necessity.
Dillon,
I’m the designated third wheel for a lot of couples. I’ve always been the third wheel. Probably always will be. It’s almost a part of my identity at this point. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, but long story short, two of my best friends and I used to hang out every weekend. We had a nice little group going for the better part of the year, but then they decided to start dating. Fast forward 8 months and now I see them once every month or two. When we do hang out, all they do is have side conversations, make plans that I’m not included in, and feel each other up under the table across from me. When should I just give up on trying to be close friends with either of them? (Fun fact: I am related to one of them and the other is a family friend, so they’ll both always be around whether we are close or not) but I’m tired of them just wanting to be friends with me when it’s convenient for both of them and them acting like I’m crazy that it makes me upset when I don’t hang out with two of my best friends for months at a time and it doesn’t seem to bother them. Am I just being a bitter single person or do I have a legitimate reason to be upset with them?
Thanks Dorn.
There are a lot of couples this way. They get locked down and put the relationship blinders on. It shouldn’t change other relationships you have but they won’t listen if you bring it up, on account of the blinders. It sucks if they’re your friends, but it’s just how it goes sometimes. However, doing that shit in front of you — side convos, playing footsie, etc. — that is seriously messed up. That shit is for alone time. Get it out of my face. Shitty friends.
I think you have a legit reason to be upset with them. It looks like you communicated to them that this upsets you, and if they don’t care enough to take you seriously, that’s shitty of them.
Hi Dillon,
Toucher here who needs some help. I’m a big fan of the podcast, so I figured you might be able to help me with this dilemma I have. So I’m a recent college grad and I got a job working for a firm in Atlanta. I’ve been here for about 3 weeks and everyone in the office is pretty young and cool. Well on Thursday an office we work with is having a bar tab for us, so I’m wondering how many drinks is it okay to have at this event?? Also, my supervisor is fine asf and recently added me on Snapchat. Would it be inappropriate for me to flirt with him at this event or should I just keep it professional?? Thanks!
Best,
Jennifer
Have enough drinks to get you feeling social and loose, but don’t drink so much that it affects your judgement. We don’t need you dancing on bar tops or offering up body shots to your hot asf supervisor. And hell no, Jennifer. Don’t you put moves on your supervisor if you value your job. It’s a slippery slope that ends badly more often than you’d think..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.
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Dillon Cheverere
Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email: dillon@grandex.co
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RogerJDorn
If those pool people are drinking natty and can’t afford Spotify premium, what the fuck are they doing drinking out of a $400 yeti
Have some dignity, you neanderthals
Its their parents old yeti or one that had been liberated from a former owner
It’s the curse of the millenials: you can only have nice things at the expense of the quality of other things.
The artist formerly known as “opportunity cost”
The curse of life
Pennywise, pound-foolish it sounds like.
I’m with strip club guy (except for the going sober part). I find the idea of paying for that sort of thing super gross.
That being said, if I was a girl, I would absolutely be a stripper on the side.
As a guy, I am a stripper on the side. It does not pay well.
Name checks out.
I actually know a male dolphin who does that. The money’s not horrible, he lives an interesting life and knows a lot of creatures around the Intertropical Convergence Zone.
To Jennifer: Maybe I’m just old but it seems strange to have a manager adding you on snap. I don’t know what type of industry you’re in, and maybe that makes a difference re: the snap, but definitely don’t flirt with this guy, it will get you (and possibly him) nowhere but unemployed.
Dill thanks for the advice, just wanted to let the pgp community know that I made the right decision and didn’t flirt with my boss at the event. Ya girl kept her head on a swivel.
Go Dawgs
Yeah, age difference and industry might add clarity, but adding anyone beneath you in the hierarchy (excepting LinkedIn and maybe Facebook/Twitter) is generally pretty sketch. And take it from someone who almost made this mistake: don’t dip your pen in the company ink.
Really depends on the industry – advertising, or other younger industries for example, not a big deal at all
Or do it for the content! Sup?
If someone wants to ruin their life (in the short term) for some good content, that’s none of my business. The fact this girl is excited about her “hot asf” boss adding her on snapchat and then debating whether or not she should flirt with him leads me to believe she’s going to flirt with him and learn the hard way that this is a really, really bad look.
Jennifer – there are thousands of hot asf guys in Atlanta looking for anything from a drunken make out to a full blown, committed relationship. Spend 30 minutes in Buckhead after the Thursday night happy hour and you’ll see what I mean. To steal someone else’s line, “Keep your ink off the company pens.”
Just avoid ATLGuy at all cost.
“broke dick asshole”. hysterical
If your friends will genuinely give you shit for not going to one place during a bachelor party then that’s not cool. Also who the fuck has a bachelor party Sunday and Monday (probably labor day weekend which makes it worse).
If you’re close enough with them to go to the bachelor party and they know you’re a recovering alcoholic, and they’re not supportive of you skipping places like that- you might need to find new friends.
Im with the strip club guy. I’m not a fan of them. I think its a bit weird to pay to see boobs. I can see boobs for free on the internet. And its the same thing because I can’t touch them either way. I would rather blow a couple hundred bucks at the casino than at a strip club.
The only possible silver lining might be a free buffet if he’s lucky
My golden rule of office parties/happy hours: never out drink the boss by more than 2.
Hey Jennifer, 1 year atlanta post-grad vet here. Would love to get the PGP community going here
Strip club guy- don’t waste your time/money on a strip club in northern Michigan. If you were going somewhere cool that’s known for great rippers, then I’d argue to at least check it out. But up north, during the Game of Thrones finale?! No fucking chance
I also just recently moved to Atlanta… sup?