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I’ve been to weddings before. I’ve been to them sober, I’ve been to them blacked out, I’ve been to them in the fall and in the summer. I’ve been to weddings that were fun and I’ve been to weddings that sucked. I’ve been to them where… well, that’s really it. Truth be told, I’ve only been to roughly five weddings before, but each time I’ve gone I’ve had a better time than the last.
The thing is, I’ve never been the one to get invited to the wedding. I’m either present as an extension of my parents, or I’m someone’s date. Well this weekend, for the first time ever, I’ll be attending a wedding that I personally was invited to. I know, right? I, the guy with the spider-infested apartment and knack for self-destruction, swung an invite to a wedding. Talk about a come up.
Well, here’s the thing. I realized as I ordered my wedding gift last weekend that I actually know nothing about weddings. Now that I think about it, this is the first of our friends to get married and so none of us really know what we’re doing. There are some things that you can act like you’ve been there before and get away with it, but I don’t think weddings are on that list. And so in true Charlie fashion, I’m going to do what I do best as I sit at the airport three hours early for my flight: ask for advice from strangers on the internet.
How drunk should I get?
I get the impression that this is something I should feel out. It’s a Sunday wedding, sure, but my flight to San Francisco doesn’t leave until 2:00 p.m. the next day. The first wedding with friends is uncharted territory. Honestly, I think this is the first time my buddies are going to see me dressed up in ages. Do you keep it classy and stick to two to three drinks? Or do we say fuck it and get wild?
Should I have double checked that the bride and groom got my RSVP?
There was a little bit of confusion surrounding when I got the invite. I had just moved apartments and so my mailing address was different, and the invitation ended up getting returned to the sender. Not off to a killer start. So, when I finally got the invitation, I texted the bride and told her how excited I was for the wedding. She texted me back, we laughed, it was a pleasant exchange. That being said, I filled out the RSVP card and dropped it in a public mailbox on the way to work one day and never heard anything back about it. I assume that since there was no outreach from either party, they must have received it… right?
Do I need to bring anything to the actual wedding?
I bought the gift online and had it sent to the mailing address on the registry, so I think we’re okay there. But other than that, what do I bring? A “Congrats On Your Wedding” card? What do you even put on those things? “Nice work, you two are doing amazing stuff! Last week I ate hot dogs for three separate meals,” doesn’t exactly have the best touch to it.
What do you do in your down time?
The wedding is in a smaller town in southeast Washington state. Since it’s on Sunday and I took Friday off, I’ll have Friday afternoon/evening, all of Saturday, and Sunday morning to kill. What do people normally do with this time? Should I have brought golf clubs? Is it seen as unacceptable to post up at a bar and drink the day away, or is that an expectation at this point? Would it be the worst thing to pay a little extra for wifi in my hotel room so that I could get some work done? Or do we all end up just playing this by ear?
Is it cool if I don’t wear a tie?
I know we’ve had debates on this site about wedding attire before, but this is a legitimate question. Look, the wedding is outdoors and the forecast for that day predicts a high of 102 degrees. I’ve gotten away with not wearing a tie to more notable events before (i.e. Easter, Christmas, important meetings with my boss’ boss), so would this be okay as well? Or are weddings an event where I need to be conscious of how I’m dressing?
After a quick Google search, it looks like there is a Target in this town. Worst case scenario, I can spend Saturday looking for all the things I forgot and roll up on Sunday looking like I haven’t broken a sweat (metaphorically, of course. 102 degrees? I’ll be drenched).
Let’s have some fun. .
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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1. For sure get drunk. Two to three drinks is fine, as long as that’s per hour.
2. Your RSVP is fine.
3. A card with a note would be nice.
4. Find some of your other friends who are there early and do some tourist things and drinking.
5. Wear a tie. Take it off part way through the wedding if need be.
The “tie half way undone during the reception” is a classic wedding look and if executed properly, sends out all the right signals.
Sunday wedding? What kinds of monsters are you friends with?!
Guys, we’re missing the point here. Doesn’t it bother anyone else that we have to ask for permission (as adults) to get free time for the rest of our lives?
I apologize for my ignorance
He’s getting a 4 day weekend out of this so I’d say they’re good people.
You’ve clearly never spent multiple years of your life using the vast majority of your PTO and travel budget going to weddings as opposed to an actual vacation in a destination of your choosing.
Yeah this is a shit move, set it on Saturday like everyone else.
They forced him to take PTO or travel on Sunday night post wedding. Not good people.
Hate the Sunday wedding move, but to be fair, Saturday weddings usually require you to take Friday off to get there so this could’ve essentially just shifted that to Monday instead.
Will is correct. The proper move here is to leave Friday after work (assuming no time change or you are traveling west), tell yourself you’ll just have a drink or two after checking in to the hotel so you’re able to enjoy a beautiful Saturday, but then start drinking on the plane,have your taxi / uber take you directly to the bar to meet up with high school friends you maybe haven’t seen in three or four years, drunkenly buy a pack of cigs, brown out, show up to the hotel only to find out they gave your room away since it’s 2:15 am and you never alerted them to a late check-in, and pass out in Jim’s room while you the two of you wait for the room service order to come.
Do we share the same group of friends? Joe, is that you?
Nah, man. I’m super unique. Even more so than Duda.
No didn’t you hear Duda gets drunk and hooks up with random girls. No one else could ever do that, he is so special.
Not as interesting though.
True. But this decision is being forced on every guest, even those that might be an hour or two away.
Alright Chuck I got you here. Wear a tie, last wedding I went to my friend went open collar and that was the talk of the wedding. Drink as much as you can 45 minutes before so you get a nice heavy buzz but aren’t blackout during the ceremony. That’s all I got. Goodnight and good luck.
“Goodnight”? It’s 9:15AM. Just how strung out are you?
I’m losing my god damn mind
How lame was this wedding if all anyone had to talk about was one person not wearing a tie?
It was a Pentacostal wedding with no drinking at the reception and my entire private christian high school coaching staff present so… Pretty lame
As far as getting hammered at a wedding, if you are with all of your buddies, get as wild as possible. Make it a party.
Just try to be the second-drunkest guy there and you will be fine.
Absolutely get drunk, this is the only reason to go to one of these things
Who cares if they didn’t get your RSVP, just show up and you have now become a wedding crasher
Give them one of those anniversary cards as a joke except cross out the 10 year and write 3 hours lol the look on their faces….
Wear a jet black skinny tie, this will show everyone that you’re mature but you also run a full service ad agency with a drinking problem
I forget the rest of the stuff you asked but just have fun and explore the area. San Fran is cool. Check out the Taco Bell that’s right on the beach, get the Dorito taco and watch the waves crush shitty surfers as you laugh from the shoreline next to 30 kids and their moms
Don’t be a schlub; wear a tie. If not to look nice, then consider the GSE advice: no one expects a guy in a suit and tie to be a degenerate drunk. However, once that tie comes off, judgment will reign down. Lose the tie = lose the allusion. This should also answer your #1 question.
Name checks out
GSE is an asshole
1. Have a few so you’re feeling good then feel out the rest of the crowd
2. Your friend would have reached out if there was a problem with the RSVP. No need to follow up
3. No
4. Play it by ear and enjoy the time with your other friends that are in town
5. What did the invitation say about attire? Unless it mentioned being more casual wear a tie
Bold move taking Friday off instead of Monday for a Sunday wedding, let’s see how it plays out for him
Maybe I have Friday donkey brain, but I believe his flight leaves on 2pm Monday, meaning he also took Monday off.
I believe you’re correct, I must have skimmed over that. Apparently I even slack at slacking on Fridays
slack-ception
Took Friday off and am heading to San Francisco for the week on Monday
Start with the tie, then lose it an hour and 15 after the dance floor opens. Everyone will have already seen you with it at that point, but will also totally understand you not wanting to wear it anymore. You can always dress-down at a wedding, but it’s pretty hard to dress-up when you’re already there.
I go no tie for the summer weddings, but I always wear a blazer. Especially 102? Jacket and tie is too much, and I think the jacket no tie look looks better than tie and no jacket. Granted, I live in the Midwest and there’s almost always at least one person in jeans.
Gotta love the people in jeans