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In case you didn’t know, waiting for a job offer is the #1 killer of under-prescribed millennials everywhere. Seriously. Those are facts. Here’s what the overanxious overachievers think:
1. I didn’t get it.
2. Nope, definitely didn’t get it.
3. I’m going to jump out a window.
4. I’m somehow going to get fired from my current job.
5. Is my boyfriend going to break up with me if I don’t get this?
6. I mean, like, why did my boyfriend have to put it in his family’s group chat that I was interviewing for a new job? He obviously jinxed me.
7. I should break up with him for that.
8. Who can I call to complain about this?
9. I’m platinum status, like, everywhere.
10. Should I bring my phone to the bathroom?
11. She’s definitely going to call when I’m in the bathroom.
12. Did she mean Monday or Tuesday of NEXT week or THIS week?
13. Fuck them, playing hard to get.
14. Should I email for an update?
15. No, I have to play hard to get on my end.
16. Did I miss the call somehow even though my phone is on full ring and vibrate and glued to my face?
17. I’m dying.
18. Like, physically dying.
19. OMG OMG OMG IT’S RINGING. FUCK MY PHONE IS RINGING.
20. A number I don’t know. This is it. This is it. This has to be it.
21. It was Comcast. Comcast just called. Asking if I wanted to spend more money with them. Money I don’t have because I don’t have a decent job.
22. Fuck Comcast.
23. I feel like I have some kind of fever now. My heart is racing and I’m shaking.
24. I’m going to have a heart attack and die.
25. Because of fucking Comcast.
26. Probably wouldn’t be the first person, tbh.
27. But if I die, then I DEFINITELY won’t get this job.
28. Fuck me.
29. I’m texting the one guy I know at the company if I don’t hear within the hour.
30. Not that he would do anything.
31. Or know anything.
32. Or even respond.
33. Is it good or bad that they’re taking a long time?
34. It’s definitely bad.
35. Or maybe she’s just waiting until the end of the day so she’s not interrupting the workday technically.
36. Is that a thing?
37. I’m literally going to jump out a window
38. Like, this would only be acceptable if my recruiter was in Seattle.
39. But she’s in EST so this is absolutely not okay.
40. Goddamnit, why didn’t I reschedule my shrink for today?
41. Patience is so overrated.
42. My life is officially over..
Respond
Well. Did you get the job offer at Thought Catalog or not?
If your interview was anything like this shit list, you didn’t get it. Boom roasted
I had an interview a month ago today. She said I would hear back either way by Friday evening or Monday morning. I have sent THREE follow up emails. I have heard NOTHING. FML.
That means you didn’t get it
Went through this over the last few weeks. Pure agony. Had nearly every single one of these thoughts.
To be fair, we are now in EDT, not EST.
#25 all day
what Rita implied I didn’t know that anybody can earn $8805 in a few weeks on the computer . navigate to this site
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————————- url.ie/12agp
This brings me back to TFM and SFPL lists
As referenced in your thoughts, If you died, you’d get to retire from work early all together. That’s what life is all about!
43. Damn I need a heater and a large draft beer
Who doesn’t bring their phone to the bathroom?
Is Kendra back?
Stay positive! After 6 interviews and 2 months. I got my dream job today!
Going through this right meow