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Yes, I’m alive! I am officially employed and my new job is amazing, but I’ve honestly been so exhausted after work that I’ve been falling asleep on my couch by 7 p.m. every night. However, even with my new long ass hours and shitty commute (supposedly just temporary), I found time to go on a few dates last week and not fall asleep in my wine. Barely. However, at the end of these dates, I noticed a stark contrast to my usual attitude. Instead of thinking, “is he bangable?” I found myself thinking, “would he help me out with the dishes? Would he walk the dogs before bed if I was too tired and fell asleep?”
I’ve found myself thinking a lot about my long term future lately now that I’m finally in a job that I could see myself sticking with for the remainder of my career. Previously, whenever I would hear my coworkers on the phone with their spouses talking about what to do for dinner, I would cringe and think, “ugh, I’m SO glad I don’t have to consult anyone else for their opinion about what to eat!” but now I find myself thinking, “that’s so nice. I would love for someone else to cook or pick up dinner if I was busy at work!”
I also have a work trip coming up and may have some other longer work trips in the course of my new job responsibilities. You know what’s expensive? Being a single dog parent. Having to pay someone to watch my dogs every time I need to go on a trip or vacation is expensive as fuck. If I had a serious long term partner, I would have a built in dog sitter! For free! For that matter, having a second person around would mean I could fly both of the dogs home with me every time I go home for a visit, which would be pretty sweet.
Then there’s the matter of finances. I love my apartment and my life, but DC ain’t cheap and that means I spend a solid 50% of my paycheck on rent. The rest goes to student loans, credit card bills that I racked up in grad school while I was struggling to survive without loans, and alcohol. Savings? Hah. What a funny joke! If I had a second income contributing to everyday life stuff, I could pay off all of my loans in no time. Hell, I could probably even get a nicer apartment.
Lastly, there’s the appeal of consistently getting laid. Do you guys have any idea how much time and energy a girl has to put into getting laid? I don’t mean at the bar itself- we all know we can look at a guy the right way and seal the deal. I mean all the prep that comes before that, which I’m pretty sure men just assume magically happens or is natural. There’s the gym time, the expensive AF skincare regimen, the “natural” makeup, the outfits, the accessories, the waxing, the shaving, the time spent engaging in meaningless conversation on dating apps… if I had a long term partner, I could stay home in my Princess Leia onesie re-watching Game of Thrones at 9 p.m. on a Tuesday night and STILL get laid.
Reading back on all of my reasoning, I’m still not sure if what I’m describing is a long term romantic partner or a butler. When one of my coworkers suggested I branch out from apps and try more relationship-oriented sites like Match and eHarmony I almost had a panic attack at the “seriousness” that seemed to imply. Am I ready to settle down? I honestly don’t know. I do know I’m ready to have someone help me pay the bills and take care of my dogs and clean my apartment, so if you know of anyone willing to do all of those things for free, please encourage them to slide into my DMs immediately..
Image via YouTube
Settling down with someone with the assumption you’ll have more sex? I’ve got some sad news for you.
Not sure she understands how marriage works.
Maybe sad news for you. I married the sexiest dude ever and I take advantage of that daily.
That’s a lie. You didn’t marry me so you are incorrect with that statement lol
Such a weak comment Nived, you’re better than this
Low hanging fruit on that one. I’ll work to get better, you’re right.
Babe?
It sounds like your ready for someone to help with household chores, while also cooking and walking the dog. And also supplementing your income. Shit I want that too fam.
Sounds like you want a live-in butler that’ll also double as a male prostitute, not a relationship.
Wait, you mean, that’s not what a boyfriend is supposed to be? Shit. I’ve been doing this wrong all along.
Depends on the amount he get’s laid, if we’re being honest.
Princess Leia onesie…sup?
Dude, your jump from Tinder guys to living with a guy is… extreme? Haha. Maybe define a relationship first.
The thought of acquiring someone else’s debt as well is tempting, but it’s gunna be a hard pass for now.
I think my debt is pretty tempting tbh.
If your username actually checks out, sup?
Yeah your significant other is not going to clean up after you. It’s more like you’ll end up cleaning up after them 90% of the time, and as retaliation you just never do the one chore you hate and expect them to do it instead.
Username checks out
So you’re basically Frank Reynolds.
Finding a roommate will solve most of your problems- cheaper rent, someone to help with dogs, and someone to cook dinner or order take out for you occasionally. Also, invest in a crock pot. You throw a bunch of stuff in and can freeze leftovers for easy meals.
Splitting the rent on a one bedroom unit vs a 2 bedroom is pretty substantial. Roommate and I split some groceries like snacks and stuff but really do our own. Unless you’re really close with said roommate, it’s a big ask to have them take care of your dog while you’re away (just my opinion). College buddy moved in with his GF post grad. Lasted 4 months. So maybe the extra costs are worth it.
Agree, you have to find the right roommate. I would 100% be willing to watch a roommates dogs bc I am obsessed with dogs. And would be willing to share food as long as that person is putting in their financial share.
It would be nice ..i kinda miss doing all the basic couple shit. Plus I’d finally be able to have a dog because my current schedule sucks and I’d feel way too guilty leaving a dog cooped up in an apartment for an entire work day. Plus there’s the added benefit that if i slip and break my neck in the shower it won’t take over month for some apartment maintenance guy to find my body because I’ve missed my rent payment for the month.