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One of the few perks of being an adult in the workforce is the rush of getting that tax refund back. One fat check from Uncle Sam that feels like an Easter bonus. When April rolls around the phrase “I’m gonna buy (insert luxury item) when my tax refund comes in” gets thrown around like shit at a monkey exhibit.
Once you get that first big boy/girl paycheck you instantly get to incorporate the phrase “I fucking hate taxes” into your repertoire. Hatred burns with every single paycheck like a dump after eating bad enchiladas. The one reprieve, much like Pepto Bismol is from the aforementioned Mexican food shit explosion, is that one day when you get back some of that hard earned money.
That’s what makes owing more in taxes just that much more painful.
Since the public has been clamoring for it, and I’m a man of the people, I’ll release my tax returns. Plain and simple, I’m on the hook for some more scratch to the stars and stripes.
This didn’t come as a surprise by any means; my job is mainly based upon un-taxed commission but, that doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy forking over a check to big government. I tracked my business miles and expenses, took every write off I could legally find, and of course applied single parent deduction. I’m still holding a bill due around April 15th.
Like anything else in my life, I try to look on the bright side. After all, owing taxes on my commission is a better-case-scenario than having no commission to owe taxes on. Without that tax sucking commission I’d be homeless and out on the fucking streets faster than you can say “homeless and out on the fucking streets.”
This may be a foolish and falsely cheerful way to feel, but somehow there’s some pride in forking over a bit more to the country I’m so fortunate to live in. I was born in the greatest damn country on Earth, least I can do is kick back a bit of cash to help pay for a teacher, a police officer, or a tax break for Walmart member of the Armed Forces.
Naturally I’d prefer to be taking some cash back. Anyone who says they’d rather pay taxes than not is a liar. It’s hard enough out here grinding in the workforce without having to shell out part of my paycheck to the IRS or wherever the hell that check I’m going to hate writing is heading. But it’d also suck like ass to drive on a crumbling road with garbage piled as far as the eye could see. It’d be the equivalent of living in some third world hell like Sudan, or Mississippi.
So I’ll throw my John Hancock on that check like the dutiful citizen that I am. While I wish that things could’ve been different, via thousands of extra business miles, or having a casino that took a $1 billion dollar loss that I could write off, I’m simply faced with a bill from the tax man. So y’all enjoy your new TVs and your jet skis. Have a blast at that beach resort vacation you’re putting your refund to. Even look fondly on that little boost your savings account gets from that reimbursement from Uncle Sam.
I’ll just wistfully watch my money sail away to help build America. Then I’ll go buy something fucking stupid anyways. .
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Kyle Bandujo
The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.
@kylebandujo
@bandujokyle
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My tax return is just paying off a vacation I already took. The fiscal version of premature ejaculation.
Another benefit to paying in during April is the feeling of relief that you didn’t let the government play with your money interest free for the entire year.
Increase your W-4 withholdings. You get a smaller paycheck but then don’t owe anything come April 15th. Boom, problem solved.
Why the hell would I give the government an interest free loan when they charge 6-7% interest on graduate school loans?
OR, you can suck it up for a few years and devote a large majority of your earnings to shells that you’ve set up and eventually live off interest/ monthly contributions from those accounts
Solid plan but good luck avoiding taxes if you make under six digits.
Yeah I was being kind of sarcastic. Basically both avenues we suggested still suck
Yup. Unless you’re rich enough to be able to afford those shells and avoid W2 income, you basically have no choice but to bend over and take it from Uncle Sam.
Out of pure curiosity do you two think its fair that those making under six figures cannot afford these kinds of tax advantages or is to you is it more that others have earned the right to use these “loopholes?”
Neither. It’s more of a problem with the tax code and the insane taxes you pay on wage (W-2 income). Most of the super rich people get paid through capital gains, which are taxed at 15% (although that’s because the corporations have already paid taxes on those profits, but that’s another story) so that’s a big way how they avoid getting raped by the IRS.
The people who have it the worst are those who are well into six digits because they have to pay AMT and that shit sucks.
AMT sucks because it was created in the 80s and hasn’t been adjusted for inflation. Then you get into a High Income tax state like CA or NY and can’t deduct the state income taxes you paid on your federal tax return without getting affected by AMT
Ok, honestly I know nothing about the tax code. Pretty much the only thing I know is that it seems to screw everybody. Either you’re paying too much or not enough, though I’m sure a solution is impossible to find.
Taxes are money that you are forced to give up to the government in return for being a part of society. I don’t begrudge anyone for taking any legal recourse to pay as little in taxes as possible.
I will say that I believe that a flat tax would solve a lot of problems in this country. Not only would it force people to take a hard look at how our government spends money, but I think there is a definite benefit in having everyone pay into the system. It makes people better citizens in this country, and take more advantage of the benefits this country offers.
The majority of those super rich people pay capital gains @ 20%, us commonfolk get the 15% bracket. Doesn’t seem like a big difference but let me tell you, people get pissed when they have to pay $3M on a large real estate transaction in the 20% bracket, when it could have been less. Obviously. A lot of those guys set up companies that can essentially run themselves, and take a salary from one specific holding company and at year end take a big bonus that goes 100% to the IRS through withholdings.
Well into six digits on W-2 income*
Out of pure curiosity do you think those who make under six figures cannot afford private jets or super yachts?
FYI, laps taken for the incomplete comment and in regards to whether I can take advantage of said tax benefits, no I can not. One day. But do I think it is unfair? No.
I’m not sure what exactly a shell is, but investing with those dollars (or even just spending your money when you want) is a better way to manage your money than using the IRS as a piggy bank.
Load that comment in the trash
I found out at the end of January that even though I stopped being an independent contractor in November 2015, because their final payment to me was in January 2016, I owe taxes on it this year. So there’s a nice chunk of change coming out of my savings that I wasn’t planning for, unfortunately.
Taxes will be reduced. We will prosper
I got a pretty nice return but never saw any of it. Got to pay off some loans to try and save on interest.
I owe 5k this year, never gets easier writing that check.
Damn, dude. Are you self-employed? If not, and you are declaring 1 or 2 exemptions, your employer needs to do a better job of managing withholding (whether that’s salary/bonus/what-have-you).
Commission man, it’s a rough game. J’boy feels your pain
MD bent me over for almost 8k this year. I paid it a month ago but it still hurts.
Estimated quarterly payments make it sting a little less. Put that in your ditty bag.
I’m setting up a Florida address
I rolled a 401(k) from another job into a Roth IRA last year, so I owed taxes on $7k or so. After deductions, it only came to about $700 to pay, but still hurts.
Still a good move tho