======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Anytime you go to a wedding, you’re hoping for excitement. You want something to happen that you can talk about the next day. You crave someone getting too drunk (you know, as long as it’s not you) who you can tease for the foreseeable future in the group text. You hope it’s not just another snoozefest.
But rarely do you hope for things to go this badly.
In the ides of November, I brought to you a lawsuit that was filed over a $125,000 engagement ring for a wedding that never happened. I called this guy a “poor sap,” and that name still rings true given the influx of information that has since been released regarding the shitshow that is this relationship.
Per The New York Post:
A ritzy Manhattan wedding rehearsal dinner descended into a brawl after the groom’s parents objected to a toast on the eve of the couple’s $325,000 nuptials at The Pierre hotel, according to a lawsuit between warring would-be in-laws.
At some point during the chaos, the seething bride gave her betrothed an ultimatum: “Make a choice, me or your mother,” according to a source.
Apparently, he chose his mom, because the ceremony was canceled, he sued his bride, and the father of the bride sued his would-be in-laws.
Oh, the money I would’ve paid to see this all transpire. Yes, marriage announcements from The New York Times are insufferable as they come, but this Manhattan Royal Rumble makes those puff pieces look like peanuts.
The brawl occurred at Blue Water Grill in Union Square. Through my limited research, this place looks as Pinterest-y as you’d expect for a $325,000 wedding. Between their endless seafood and beef options, you could really fuck up some commas if you’re wining and dining two families and a hundred of their closest friends and relatives.
With the soon-to-be bride and groom’s parents already hating one another, it was decided that the bride’s brother was going to be speaking at the occasion. Bad move. The groom’s father went full Gordon Gekko and is claimed to say, “Do you know what I can do to you?” after he declared that the groom’s brother was not going to be allowed to speak at the dinner. When the groom’s father attempted to kick the brother out, well, things went south. Again, per The New York Post.
Wendy Moss [the groom’s mother], 60, began arguing with Adam [the bride’s brother], and the groom’s brother, Michael, slugged Adam in the kisser, according to the suit.
The groom’s dad then tried to charge Adam, while Bruce Bzura, 66, struggled to hold him back, the suit says.
The evening ended in “shouting and tears” — and the groom’s mom phoning guests on the spot to tell them the big event was off, according to the lawsuit.
This is the stuff dreams are made of, especially if your dreams are filled with socialite trainwrecks and drunken Manhattanites big-dicking one another.
But it didn’t even end there.
After this transpired, the groom’s father hated the family so much that he threatened to cut his son out of his will should he go through with the marriage. And considering this wedding was to the tune of over a quarter-million dollars, I’m pretttttty pretty sure that’s a will you want to be a part of. The groom’s parents even changed the locks on the couple’s apartment so the bride-to-be couldn’t get back in to collect her belongings (love that the couple was living in a place provided by their parents, by the way). And this is where the entire lawsuit for the $125,800 engagement ring began.
The suit for the ring has yet to be settled, but you best believe I’ll keep my ear to the ground for any rumblings regarding that. But when it comes to the $1,100-a-head wedding reception? Well, that has yet to be settled either. The bride’s father is claimed to be paying most of the tab, but the Gordon Gekko-esque father had “agreed to cover the $89,919 cost of his side’s 79 wedding guests” only to renege and effectively tell the bride’s family to fuck off. That’s some coin for a wedding that never happened.
Stay tuned for further information on this shitshow. I know I will. .
[via The New York Post]
Image via Blue Water Grill Instagram
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
defriewf
will@grandex.co
Did they just steal the ending of TGDAG?!
This made me smile.
So what I’m hearing is this chick is now single, correct?
Dibs, already called it.
I witnessed a large brawl, Saturday at 3am, outside my favorite drunk food place. One of the guys caught me trying to steal his unopened burrito, that he dropped while he was fighting. Food > fighting.
You deserve to get your ass kicked for that shiesty move.
“slugged him in the kisser” sounds like some kind of old fashioned talkie slapstick
Those darn whippersnappers these days…
And here I sit, meal planning and pinching nickels on my way to Friday. PGP
I know fuck these people.
More people should elope in Vegas. All this expensive wedding bullshit is nonsense. If you actually love the person who you’re marrying, it shouldn’t matter how much money each family spends, how many gifts you get, who/how many people show up, etc.
While I think some of what you said is correct, I think it absolutely matters who shows up. Normally it’s an event you want to share with everyone closest to you.
That’s true. I consider myself to be truly close to 15 people, tops. if I ever get married, I could certainly consider probably 50 people who should get invited, but if some of those distance relatives/acquaintances don’t show, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings.
What I realized when I got married is that it’s as much, if not more, about your parents showing off to family and friends. “My child grew up and is getting married, everyone look” is how weddings get to be over the top. Wife and I tried to keep guest list to 100, but we just got tired of arguing about distance relatives and ended up with 200. The key for us was we made it very clear we weren’t going out of our way to talk to people we hadn’t seen in 15 years.
to a T. we’re getting married in 3 weeks. fiance and I wanted a low key brunch, but instead we’re getting married at a big museum – with 200 guests, most of which are my mom’s cousins and friends that I’ve never met. we got into a huge fight since there wasn’t room for my work friends that I spend 40+ hours a week with, but there’s room for some distant cousin that I’ve never met #yayweddings
Yes! When we got married we invited immediate family, and grandparents only (12 people). We refused financial help from the beginning so our parents couldn’t have a say in our guest list. No regrets
via GIPHY
Biggest brawl I’ve ever seen was outside of the bars in Scottsdale when I was working security. Guy got tasered flat by a cop, shit was wild.
The groom’s family sounds like a bunch of psychos.