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You’re out. And by “out,” I don’t mean you’re having a couple drinks with your friends. I mean, you’re out. Like, I-don’t-know-who-bought-this-shot-but-I’ll-take-it-anyway-before-throwing-up-in-the-bathroom out. The next thing you know, you wake up alone in your bed with SportsCenter blasting and heartburn from the pizza you snagged on your way home. When you check your phone to see if anyone has tried to get a hold of you, you see the absolute last thing you wanted to see (outside of an overdraft alert from your bank account) – that you sent a text to a girl you’ve been talking to late night to see what she was up to.
At that point in the night, you’ll pretty much do anything to at least round second base. 2x Uber surge pricing? Yep. Walk thirty blocks in the cold? Of course. Attempt to ride the already-closed subway? Denied, but you still went for it.
Or, in this sloth’s case, swim across an entire mangrove on the island of Escudo in a last-ditch effort to get some sloth ass. Proceed with caution, though, because this video is a heartbreaking rollercoaster of emotions.
From his desperate swimming to getting curved by his first girl to him getting booty called, this sloth truly went through all the emotions of a night out where you’re trying to go home with someone.
Between this and that video of those snakes trying to murk that lizard, I need Planet Earth to get released in the states more than I ever needed someone to respond to my “what’re you up to?” texts after 1 a.m. .
[via BBC]
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
@willdefries
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will@grandex.co
6 reasons this sloth was me trolling the Dallas bar scene in 2009
I just, got. Funded $6864 working off my notebook this-month,, andif you think that’s cool, my ex-wife has twin toddlers aAnd made over 7985 bucksher first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people haveto work for so much less …See Here. https://goo.gl/ZLT0EP
Let he or she who has not traveled 40+ miles in the hopes of gettin jiggy with it cast the first stone. Godspeed you horny sloth, godspeed
450 miles from KC to Little Rock. Not ashamed
Congrats on the sex, good sir
Mad respect
I once ran two miles from the bar to this girl’s apartment in boots and through the snow because she texted me late night. I got held up at second base. No regrets.
Unrelated. Anyone know of any “romantic” weekend getaway spots, preferably in Arkansas or Tennessee (or Texas)?
6th Street
As soon as I submitted this I knew I was wrong for expecting serious answers. Thanks guys
Chattanooga, tn
Can confirm, the hills are just incredible
South Oak Cliff is beautiful this time of year.
If you go on this romantic south Oak Cliff getaway, you have to listen to the hit song “Oak Cliff, That’s my Hood” the whole time on repeat
Nantucket
Not in TN but just over theTN NC state lines Asheville NC and the Biltmore Estate (especially if the Christmas decorations are up)
For what it’s worth, a serious answer is Escondida resort. It’s owned by the older couple that do the Texas Country Reporter show. They have a ton of different packages and options.
http://www.escondidaresort.com/
Branson, MO is close to that area, worth a shot.
A buddy of mine has parents who rents out a romantic little cottage on the San Marcos river in Martindale. Not too shabby, and not far from San Marcos which has a decent bar scene.