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I haven’t been feeling right lately. Irritable. Stressed. Highly strung. On edge. It’s been brutal, so I went to a shrink, to analyze my dreams, and she said it’s lack of sex that’s bringing me down. Turns out all that hokie voodoo was just diagnosing what the World Health Organization is now recognizing as a disability: the inability to find a suitable sexual partner.
Well, if the inability to get laid is a disability, I’m disabled to the point of medically-induced coma.
Until now, infertility – the failure to achieve pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sex – was not considered a disability.
But now in dramatic move the World Health Organisation will change the standard to suggest that a person who is unable to find a suitable sexual partner or is lacking a sexual relationship to have children – will now be equally classified as disabled.
WHO says the change will give every individual “the right to reproduce”.
Does commercial insurance cover escort services? No? Thanks Obama. Guess I’ll have to do what I’ve been doing: soldiering on with a brave face and keep settling for – at best – unsuitable sexual partners.
You don’t know courage until you’ve lived like a catfish, scraping the sticky floor of a dark bar at 1:59 a.m. with a chisel just hoping to find a cure for a WHO-recognized disability, but ultimately ending up childless and alone.
I am a little curious to see how the “right to reproduce” with a “suitable sexual partner” pick up line goes over with 11/10 Dante’s Inferno level smokes shows. What’s the worst that could happen? I’m already disabled. “Hey girly, I have my rights.”
This is actually kind of a controversial stance taken by WHO, because what this means is that single men and women, as well as gay couples, now will have – in theory – the same level of access to IVF as couples who have been trying to have kids but cannot.
Under the new rules, heterosexual single men and women and gay men and women who want to have children will now be given the same priority as a couple seeking IVF because of medical fertility problems. But critics branded the new laws as “absurd nonsense” arguing that the organisation has overstepped the mark by moving into social matters rather than health.
Really interesting article, actually, with good dialogue from both sides of the debate. But I’m not taking a stance here. I’m just trying to take little Max to pay dirt this weekend with someone the WHO – or at least my brunch crew – will consider suitable..
Image via Shutterstock
[via The Express]
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
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Duda is preparing a disability wrongful termination suit.
What if you just want the sex, and not looking for the kids? Does that still qualify for the handicap parking spot?
God if Seinfeld was still on, Costanza would be arguing for this 100%.
Lie
Duda got a job at the WHO rather quickly..
I don’t think I’m disabled, but I’m currently on IR.
But can I get a handicap sign for parking?
I was ok with trying to blame everyone else for this and now instead I have the disability. Thanks WHO.
Sup?
Jesus Christ, how hard is it to download tinder and/or lower your standards? this is the only “disability” that can be cured with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a craigslist ad
Serious question for the group. How long has it got to be before you consider it a dry spell?
7 days. Any justification longer than a week is simply a coping mechanism.
7 days?? Jesus.
sup?
3-4 months
3-4 months? I was going to say a 6 weeks…
whoa whoa whoa…. Back the fucking trolley into the station. There is a huge, massive fucking difference between me wanting to get my vinegar strokes once or thrice in an evening, and actually passing on my DNA. It ain’t the same league. It ain’t even the same fucking sport. Wrong audience for that whole “we can’t have a baby” thing. We’re a population of Trojans and Plan B crushed up in the pancake batter. Come on, man.
Some of us, not naming names, haven’t been able to find a suitable sexual partner to attempt to avoid getting them pregnant.
Not naming names either, but put my ass on the disabled list
Do you think there is a special form for those who qualify need to fill out? Asking for a friend.
Sup?
I never laid claim to anything. Just saying there’s a difference. I’m on your side.