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On October 4th 1991, I made my way into this world. Screaming at the tippy top of my baby lungs, my dad looked lovingly at my mom, who was too drugged to know if she had just delivered a baby or shit a literal brick. She turned to my dad, told him he was rather attractive and asked if he was single. He told her no, but he would still like to take her out on a date. She frowned, told him to please fuck off and promptly passed out.
The moral of the story above is that it’s funny to screw with women who have just given birth. Nowhere in that story do I, or any of the characters involved call out, “OCTOBER 4TH, SHE’S A LIBRA, OH THANK GOD SHE’S A LIBRA.” And it’s because no one cares.
According to this pile of shit astrology website I just Googled, Astrology can be defined as, “the study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world.” By my definition, astrology is a product of a bunch of drunk Babylonians sitting together, staring up at the stars and plotting about how to fuck with the people of the future. But before you peg me as a non-believing, satan-loving atheist who’s soul is already condemned because I was born in the year of the sheep, hear me out.
The stars are giant flaming orbs of gas. They float in the dark vacuum we call outer space, which is probably just the never-ending swirl God’s toilet anyways. The stars dictate nothing – nor do they determine anything in your life. They do not care about you, your girlfriend, the guy you’re “talking to,” your doomed credit, or your poor excuse for an upwardly mobile career. They do not determine how big your dick is, what kind of drunk you are, or when you’ll lock eyes with the love of your life in a cute hole-in-the-wall café in central London trying to Snap the latte art on your cappuccino. They do not decide whether you get along with Scorpios, can’t stand Cancers, and can’t explain why you constantly get dumped by a long line of Libras.
They don’t care about anything, because they are giant flaming orbs of gas. Stars can’t even care about other stars for Christ’s sake. So let’s save ourselves an eye roll or seven and STFU about them. If you’re lazy, or sleazy, or easily angered, blame it on Obama or the Cincinnati Zoo like the rest of us. Because seriously, what’d the galaxy ever do to you? .
Respond
Fear not Libra, today will be tough to harness pent up emotions, specifically anger. Try to relax with a book or a loved one tonight and be ready to tackle the day tomorrow. Obstacles are only obstacles if your mind allows them to be.
It’s true. The fact that someone says the stars in the shape of a scale (that’s libra right?) have nothing to do with my life is making me pretty angry. I’m feeling more Ares than Libra today.
An object out in space doesn’t affect your day to day life. The fact that some people actually think this is real absolutely blows my mind. You’re taking my free will out of the equation and saying “Oh, you’re this, so you probably do this.” Fuck off.
Saying this, I will point out I’m a Taurus.
But…. December 25th would make you a Capricorn.
What the fuck, Jesus!?
Everyone knows Jesus wasn’t actually born in December, that was to take over a pagan holiday.
I was born on December 25th and apparently that makes you a Sagittarius now because NASA.
What’s a Sagittarius?
He’s celebrating his second birthday, the one when he was resurrected, ya know.
I like to think the sun affects my day to day life
I appreciated this
This is why I can’t introduce girls to my Grandmother. The second question is always when is your birthday? The third question is what time of day because if the damn star charts don’t line up granny won’t even consider her…
But does it tell you how you can earn upwards of $7,500 a week working from home?
What about when peace will guide the the planets and love will steer the stars? If I had to guess, it will be the dawn of a certain age.
Yea but what about NASA’s new calculations that makes Oct 4th a Virgo, not a Libra??
Those goddamn Ophiuchus’ ruining everything.
This is how I feel about most things people say.
It’s more so the energy from planets than the stars that are claimed to have an effect on our lives. According to sites such as Astrodienst, if you take your DOB, place you were born and the time, it’ll create a chart for you for the exact points where the planets were the time you were born (your natal chart), the houses the planets fall into, etc. There are descriptions of what it means when a certain planet falls into a certain house as well as what your chart means as a whole.
If you’re into researching it, it’s kind of fascinating to see the different charts you can look at and see what some of it means.
Obviously it doesn’t tell you anything about definitive life events. According to astrologers, you can use the energy that is out there from the planets with free will. Just from researching and paying attention to when different planets are retrograde, etc, it is interesting to see what happens.
NEEEERRRRRRRDDDD
Get behind me, Satan!
Sound like a pilot episode for Game of Planets: WHO GIVES A FUCK?