======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Sometimes, the stars align and the universe opens itself up to you. You got a new job, but it doesn’t start for another month or two, and you hate your current job, so you decide to cash in your chips early and put in your two weeks well before your start date at the new gig. Congratulations, you’ve entered the wonderful world of funemployment.
You’ve saved the money, done the math, and figured you can sustain yourself financially and mentally without a job for a decent chunk of time, whether it’s a couple of weeks, a month, or maybe even multiple months. No matter, the world is your oyster now, and you’ve got time to burn until you head back to work full-time. Take some well-deserved “me time” to do as you desire. You’re funemployed: the adult version of summer vacation.
As with anything good and worth doing in the world, it comes with polarity. Being a corporate drone can drive some to the edge, but is it really much worse than sitting around playing Xbox for eight hours a day? You know what? Don’t answer that.
Here are the best and worst things about funemployment…
Worst
- No one takes you seriously as a human being.
- You have to explain your situation in detail multiple times when meeting new people.
- Your friends are jealous.
- Your dad refuses to try to understand it and your mom will keep calling it your “journey.”
- If you were murdered or kidnapped, no one would know until Friday.
- People might think you had to go to rehab.
- Moving back in with your parents might be a possibility.
- You are bored to death during the day.
- Your sleep schedule is wrecked.
- You have to be single to pull it off.
- You are not a functioning member of society and your existence is contributing to the deterioration of socioeconomic development.
- If you run out of money, you are so fucking fucked.
- Rolling out of bed at 2pm isn’t as great as it sounds.
Best
- You can get drunk whenever you want, despite it likely being with an actual unemployed person or by yourself.
- Plenty of time to travel and see the world/get drunk in other countries.
- VEGAS!
- It’s a lot like summer vacation as a kid, except you can drink this time.
- You don’t have to shower or technically groom yourself on most days.
- Service industry people love you.
- Golf courses to yourself.
- Never dealing with rush hour traffic.
- When you say you’re “in between jobs,” you’re literally in between jobs.
- Pants are not necessary.
- Low dry cleaning bills.
- The mileage you get out of HBO Go and Netflix will be massive.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
hear, hear
Fuckin right.