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Netflix announced recently that Adam Sandler has agreed to star and produce in four (FOUR) exclusive Netflix feature-length films.
Here are a few ideas of what those movies might be:
“Going Over-Queue”
A struggling young comedian takes a job as an actor where he hopes for his big chance to one day get people to watch his movies without putting them in their Netflix queues.
“Used To Be Funny People”
A more dramatic movie about a comedian who used to make hilarious movies and is now just making movies that stream online and his struggles to reconnect with a lost generation of irate, yet despondent fans.
“Blended”
A man and woman come together and decide to just have one Netflix account, thus messing up their algorithm for their “Suggested Titles” list. Can their love last?
“Just Go With It At Least It Looks Like He’s Having Fun”
A movie offering advice on how to deal with the plots of Adam Sandler movies.
“Little Picky”
A movie about choosing a Netflix movie to watch with your devilish significant other, when she’s “not really in the mood for anything.” Spoiler: you end up just “seeing what’s on TV” instead.
“Another Rob Schneider Paycheck”
This movie was made for the sole purpose of Rob Schneider collecting another paycheck.
“50 Worst Plots”
A movie about a comedian with short-term memory loss, who just keeps pumping out movies with bad scripts and plots.
“Bedtime Scrolling”
A father with two young children lets his kids pick a movie to watch before bed. They can’t decide what to watch.
“Jack & Jill 2”
This is just a sequel to Jack & Jill.
Oh, I get it. This wasn’t actually supposed to be funny ideas for potential Adam Sandler movies. It’s just a column ripping on how Adam Sandler hasn’t done anything good in a while. Clever.
The Wedding Singer is an under appreciated classic.
No matter how terrible he is nowadays, his legacy from the late 90’s will never die. The Bobcats suck, but Michael Jordan is still the best NBA player of all time.
Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore alone could hold up his greatness. The man may have fallen, but he fell from astonishing heights.
(in fake robot voice) “Umm… so… how about this: Adam Sandler, like, falls in love or something, with a girl… but the girl turns out to be a golden retriever, or something.”
– A.W.E.S.O.M.-O.
You read my mind.
“Billy Madison 2: The Veronica Vaughn Story”- Still working on the plot, but it involves a lot of Veronica Vaughn in her college years. Who knows, maybe she had to strip to pay for her degree?
Sandler just needs to make an action comedy with Nic Cage and Steven Seagal. Pure gold.
He annoys the shit out of me now. There I said it.