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I’ve never been to the Big Apple. Well, that’s not entirely true. I went once when I was in 7th grade, but it was cold the whole time and frankly I wasn’t old enough to fully appreciate it. The city has always been fascinating to me. It’s big, it’s old, it’s gone through so many changes that it seems like different neighborhood stereotypes change every five years. You know, at one point, I actually considered moving there.
But I didn’t, and for a lot of reasons. The biggest one being that I was 22 and didn’t have a job, and it’s hard to live anywhere when you don’t have a reliable source of income. There were other reasons too, like how I didn’t want to live somewhere I hadn’t been before because what if I hated it? What if I lose touch with my friends? What if the city changes me?
It’s been a few years since I’ve decided to root myself in Chicago, and now that my 25th birthday is rapidly approaching, I’m starting to worry that if I don’t move away soon, I’ll be in the Midwest forever. Not necessarily a bad thing, but, y’know, it gets cold in the winter and I would like to escape that at some point. And so with that, I have some very legitimate questions for New Yorkers, because you never know where you might end up.
Why is it the greatest city in the world?
Yeah, it’s a cool city. We can all tell that from miles away. But, like… greatest city in the world? I don’t know about that. Now, to be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a New Yorker ever explicitly say that it’s the greatest city in the world, but doesn’t that kind of seem like something they would say? What am I missing here?
How are you able to afford to live there?
When I was looking to move to New York, I did a quick search to see what the average cost of living was in each of the boroughs, and then got sucked down a rabbit hole to try to find if there was literally anywhere that I would be able to afford to stay on an entry-level salary. I understand that there are different kinds of people who live in New York, and some really are able to afford it. But I’m talking about literally anyone who doesn’t have a job on Wall Street. It almost seems like there’s this mentality of, “Yeah, it’s super expensive to live here and my apartment is a glorified dorm room, but damn it, this is New York City, and I’m going to make it,” which takes me back to my first question.
How far from NYC can you live and still be a New Yorker?
There’s a funny phenomenon in Chicago that I am fully guilty of. When kids grow up in the suburbs and meet up with people from out of town, they say that they live in Chicago even though they don’t. My excuse was that if I told people the name of my suburb, they wouldn’t have any idea where that was.
Is that a thing that happens in New York? If you live in Long Island and say you’re from New York, are you shamed for it? What about if you’re from the far reaches of Queens? Still one of the boroughs, but, like, is it really New York?
How do you get home from a night out?
Uber is pretty big here because, ultimately, if you’re going out, you probably won’t be going out too far away from your apartment and the fare won’t be too high. But in New York? Damn, y’all are spread the fuck out. Is it the same? Do you take a taxi over the Brooklyn Bridge and subway home? What’s that look like? My issue here is that there’s just so much to see and do in New York that I feel like you would spend so much time in transit that it would almost feel like it’s not worth it.
How does dating work there?
Similar to the last question, I feel like dating someone in a different borough than you would feel like a long distance relationship. I imagine that you’d almost have to switch boroughs every weekend. “Okay, the last two weekends we were in Brooklyn, can we please spend the night on the Upper West Side? There’s stuff to do here too, you know.”
Also, is that a question that comes up when you meet a new person that you might date? I’m intentionally not trying to compare Chicago to New York because they’re two different beasts, but I know out here we have different stereotypes for different neighborhoods, and I would be shocked if it’s not the same in New York. So if you meet someone, do you ask where they live to get a better idea of who they are, and not because of the inevitable travel logistics?
Where does the hate towards New Jersey come from?
Honestly, they’re doing their best out there. I’ve never understood this vibe from New Yorkers. Do they do something different? Something weird? Or is it more just that they call themselves New Yorkers when they literally live in a different state? If someone could clarify that for me, it would be a huge help. .
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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I grew up in The Bronx, so I can answer these:
“Why is it the greatest city in the world?”
I don’t know who dubbed New York this, but they’re right. There’s just so much to New York. It’s the business center of the world, the number of different cultures within the city that interact with each other is astonishing, the food is second to none. It’s the only place I know where I can get Chinese food in Chinatown and then cross the street for gellato in Little Italy. And that’s just Manhattan. Each borough brings it’s own cultures and histories to the table. Also, we have the best tap water in the world, which is also why we have the best baked goods
“How are you able to afford to live there?”
I’m less able to answer
Ok not sure why my comment magically posted. Anyways…
“How are you able to afford to live there?”
I’m less able to answer this because I don’t live there anymore, but my friends who do usually end up getting roommates. It’s pretty much the only way to afford something at our age.
“How far from NYC can you live and still be a New Yorker?”
Anybody who lives in the boroughs is a New Yorker (yes, even those in Staten Island). After that, you’ve got people in Yonkers who kinda count, and people who live on Long Island. Most of the people who live there grew up in the city anyways, so they mostly count as well.
“How do you get home from a night out?”
New York has a great public transportation system (even if it’s constantly under construction) that runs pretty much 24 hours. So subways and buses, plus ferries if you can catch them before they stop running at night. There’s almost always cabs (whether they’re yellow cabs or gypsies), plus we’ve got Uber and the like. Or you just walk.
“Where does the hate towards New Jersey come from?”
Lots of Jersey smells because it’s swamp land or incredibly industrial. You can’t make left turns on many of the major roads, so you have to take built-in detours to make U-turns. The bridges and tunnels into and out of the city are constantly backed up. And they think they’re better than us when they’re clearly not.
Hope this clears some things up Charlie and you come out for a visit some time. I guarantee you’ll enjoy yourself.
If you’re going to shit talk NJ you’ve clearly never experienced all of jersey. A small portion is industrial/swamp land. Most of the state is beautiful with farmland, beaches, mountains, hiking, skiing, and were within an hour of NYC. That’s why people from jersey are proud of our state. Anyone who talks shit about it just doesn’t comprehend it and that’s why we get angry. #taylorham4L
I’m from CT, it’s just reflex to rip on NJ. Sorry.
Sup?
I’ve been through most of Jersey (hell, I work in Jersey), and parts of it are nice. I’m personally a big fan of Wild Wood. And gas being cheap was pretty cool until the prices recently got jacked up. But there’s so much about it that I can’t stand, from the Garden State and the Turnpike to the terrible pizza to literally getting sick from drinking the tap water. So yeah, I’m gonna shit talk Jersey.
But I’ll defend Jersey to the death over any part of New England any day of the week.
I do the same thing as a Chicagoan, but I also spent many of my years living IN Chicago. The thing is though, I currently live in Aurora, which people automatically recognize as “the home of Wayne’s World.”
Nothing wrong with Aurora, Garth.
I used to live in Wheaton and miss it.
If I’m talking to someone who isn’t from IL I’ll say I live in Chicago. If I’m talking to someone nearby or from Chicago, I’m from Arlington Heights. Which isn’t really that near Chicago.
Wouldn’t you rather live in Gotham?
My New York friends brag to me about the bars staying open until 4 am, yet they can’t afford to stay out that late because drinks are so expensive. Love to visit the city but I could never live there.
Honestly, I think the biggest issue with NYC is that everyone is so caught up in the fact that they live there. They’re in the same vein as vegans or crossfitters, they’ll work it into any conversation. How about you take a step back and realize that NYC is no better than most major metropolitan areas.
It’s very all consuming. Kind of hard not to get caught up. It’s a really tough and overwhelming place to be all of the time so there’s a certain amount of pride to just like…getting through the day without totally losing your shit. Disclaimer: I’m moving to Austin because NY literally wore me down to the end of my rope, but I’ll probably always remain irrationally defensive toward it.
I lived there for about a year. It wore me down as well. Getting through the day as an introvert was exhausting, because there are ALWAYS people around, whether you’re smashed in a subway or walking through the street. By the time I commuted the hour back to my apartment, it was hard to coerce myself to go back out again, and I was too broke to afford much at that. I think there are things I would have done differently for sure, and some of the reasons I decided to leave were unrelated to the city itself. I have a love-hate relationship with it. There’s an energy there that I miss so much, and I suppose it’s my “one that got away” of the cities I’ve lived in.
Answers in order
1. Greatest city in the world? kinda sorta maybe, aspects of it are amazing but we really just say this to justify why we spend all our money on rent and $6 miller lites on not saving for a down payment on a house.
2. Affording to live here can be a problem but the best option is living with roommates and maxing out work happy hours. Or have wealthy parents. Wealthy parents is a better option
3. no one cares
4. home from a night out? if alone and less than an 8 on the drunk scale, subway. More drunk or with a girl, cab/lyft/uber. Gotta be careful passing out on the subway though b/c you’ll end up in coney island or half way to white plains
5. if they live in another borough, it is a long distance relationship, pack a bag for the weekends or filter them out of the potential dating pool immediately
6. they NJ hate happens b/c they are idiots
1) A fantastic nightlife and incredibly diverse culture to it. Never, ever bored in NYC. If you are, you’re 2 hours from wine country, 4-5 hours from very good skiing, 30-45 minutes from the beach. You also meet some of the most interesting people in the world in the city. Yes it’s expensive and it still has some grit to it, but i think the tradeoff is way more positive than negative. If you’re not meeting interesting people or learning about diff people/cultures, you’re doing not taking advantage of where you live.
2) My job, but I moved out of the city to the burbs earlier in the year.
3) The cut-off line I think is Yonkers or Port Chester to the north, anywhere to the west of like mid-Suffolk to the east, Hoboken to the west. Both my parents were born in the city and I lived within 15 miles of Manhanttan on the LI side. I say I’m a NY’er. I spent most weekends of my teenage years in the city. Still spend 2-3 weekends a month.
4) Subway/Uber/Yellow Cab.
5) A lot of my friends met their S/O throug mutual friends. Now it’s a lot of bumble and shit like that. I’ve been out of the game for a while though and it seems like a lot of people aren’t exclusive.
6) There are a lot of stupid rules in that state and it’s a huge pain to get to/from. Also, there’s this weird Jersey pride thing they have going on out there, which basically means they’d rather celebrate their trash state than the city.
New York isn’t for everyone, I think it got called “the greatest city in the world” a long time ago and we just don’t dispute it.
It is very expensive but I live in Brooklyn with roommates and we make it work, roommates definitely help its impossible to live by yourself on an entry level salary
If you live in the boroughs/Long island you’re a new yorker.
Public transportation is pretty much everywhere. I’ll usually take the subway on the way out to the bar then uber home
Travel logistics definitely take a toll on dating but if you live in the outer boroughs you can always meet in manhattan.
I really don’t know why I hate jersey, I just do.
Why is it the greatest city in the world? Accessibility. Being able to do whatever you want literally at any hour of the day or night has ruined me for life. And there’s so much of it. There’s so much of everything. It is exhausting.
How are you able to afford to live there? Good job/good apartment hunting network. Not living in Manhattan itself. Living in a house turned apartment, rather than apartment building.
How far from NYC can you live and still be a New Yorker? If you live in NY, you are a New Yorker.
How do you get home from a night out? Lyft line, subway, walking. Combination of all 3. Unless it’s a Sunday, subways are usually going constantly. Big fan of walking everywhere to avoid the subway stank and it’s a nice way to explore a bit.
How does dating work there? It doesn’t, you just cry all of the time.
Where does the hate towards New Jersey come from? It sucks.
I’m from Long Island, when people ask I saw New York because I mean the state not the city. If they then ask what part, then I narrow it down and say Long Island. I also avoid this because I personally hate NYC and Long Island, which is why I moved.
Two things you can’t do in New York: Afford to live and date.
You might be able to afford one or the other, but never the therapy that’s required from doing either