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It was a perfect fall weekend here in Boston. The air was crisp, the sun was shining, the Patriots beat the crap out of Jacksonville. But not everyone had it so lucky… including these five people, who probably had a worse weekend than you.
Fetty Wap
The one-eyed rap wonder was riding his motorcycle in his hometown of Paterson, NJ on Saturday when Wap (real name: Willie Maxwell) hit an oncoming vehicle while trying to pass a car. He is listed in stable condition at a New Jersey hospital and is expected to recover from his injuries, which are not considered life-threatening. However, the rapper, who dropped his debut album on Friday, was not so lucky on the legal front: as a result of accident, he was cited for driving without a license, not having insurance and failing to produce a vehicle registration card. Looks like Fetty will be saying “Hey, what’s up? Hello” to judge pretty soon. [via FoxNews]
The Oregon Ducks
As I’ve mentioned, I didn’t go to a football school, but I’ve adopted the Ducks as my team (at the insistence of my boss, #PGP)
Let's go Ducks!!! pic.twitter.com/xhAqCxu1Rk
— J (@2NOTBrokeGirls) January 13, 2015
Well, things are not going so well for my adopted team. On Saturday, the Ducks got their asses handed to them by Utah, losing 62-20. As a result, they fall completely out of the AP Top 25 Poll after being on the list for 98 straight polls. Oh, Duckies, let’s get it together.
[via SI.com]
Stephanie Moore
There are all kinds of laws that I don’t know anything about. For instance, I didn’t know that it was illegal to ride a sea turtle in Florida. Which 20-year-old Moore found out on Saturday, when she was arrested for exactly that.
An image of Moore and another woman on top of the sea creature made the social media rounds back in July, leading to a criminal investigation by police and animal protection groups in Melbourne, FL. But Moore was not identified until Saturday, when police responding to a disturbance at a home recognized and arrested her on “suspicion of molesting a marine turtle,” which is a felony animal cruelty charge as that sea turtles are endangered in Florida. If found guilty, Moore faced up to five years in jail and up to $10,000 in fines.
Well, lesson learned. The more you know, right? [via Daily Mail]
People On This Delta Flight
Right after snakes on my list of things I fear are spiders. I know that most of them are harmless, But TARANTULAS are not. And apparently, there was one on a Delta plane Wednesday night.
A flight from Baltimore to Atlanta was delayed after cargo handlers unloading the incoming flight noticed that there was a tarantula in the cargo hold. According to Delta spokesman Morgan Durrant, “There was a cargo shipment of insects that was breached.” Yeah, no shit, Morgan.
According to CNN affiliate WBAL, “The pilot told passengers in the terminal that, while unlikely, there could be “something else” missing, and added that “We have to make the safe decision on that — being bitten by a tarantula is not a good thing.” Again, no shit.
That being said, the crew decided to not the operate the aircraft, instead opting to wait for a new plane, and the spider plane remains out of service as it is cleaned and searched. Still, I’m pretty sure I’m going to look around REALLY carefully on my flight this Thursday. [via CNN]
This Moron Trying To Kill A Spider
So, yes, I am afraid of spiders. But I am also not a complete idiot who would try to light one on fire at a gas station. You know, surrounded by lots of flammable liquid. But one man in Center Line, Michigan isn’t quite that smart.
As the man went to fill up on Tuesday, he noticed that a spider (note: not a tarantula) had made himself at home in his car’s gas tank. Instead of remaining calm, this genius decide the solution was a light the spider on fire with his lighter while parked at the pump. As you can imagine, this went spectacularly well – sparking a rather large fire.
You’re probably thinking “there literally could not be anyone this stupid.” But luckily for us, there’s video, thanks to Fox2Detroit:
We should probably all be glad it wasn’t him that found the spider on that plane. [via New York Daily News] .
Image via YouTube
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
If you have one eye, maybe stick to public transport. Depth perception is kind of a big deal when driving.
Watching Oregon fall apart like that was better than most of the sex I’ve had. Flea flicker after a pick that ends in a leftie TD pass from the RB? Punt hitting the skycam wire, and the second attempt ending in a 30-something yard scramble by the punter? Just beautiful
Flying Delta is awful as it is, those planes haven’t been updated since the Reagan Administration.
From someone who travels every week, I’d rather fly Delta (or United) than any other airline. American is on my bad list.
I don’t think they had wifi and fully recline seats in the Reagan administration. But yeah close enough right?
Last year I flew Delta and the plane didn’t have TVs or WiFi. And the seats only reclined like 5°, but that’s pretty standard with any airline.
49ers and Dallas are missing.
I save all the football talk for the Wednesday column.
Get with the program, man.