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I have no idea why guys don’t text back other than the explanation of, “I’m putting her into purgatory for while.” I assume it’s because they just forget to look at their phones because they’re busy scratching their balls, but what do I know.
Girls however, are a totally different basket of crazy. Most of the time a girl is already holding her phone, awaiting your response and ready with at least six and half options with what she will say next. But sometimes, on rare occasions, your texts go unanswered. These are the potential reasons why.
1. She was too enveloped with Bachelor in Paradise and genuinely missed your text.
2. She decided you were breaking up with her like Joe broke up with Juelia on BIP but via text, so she avoided it.
3. She was in the middle of breaking down BIP or some movie with her bestie over Snapchat and couldn’t be bothered with you at the moment.
4. She had to screenshot what you said and ask all of her friends what to say back.
5. Now they aren’t responding.
6. She just didn’t hear her phone from the other room.
7. Her phone was on silent.
8. She heard her phone but assumed it was her mom so she ignored it.
9. She heard her phone but when saw that it wasn’t her mom she ignored it.
10. She started texting but lost her train of thought so now she has to go chase it.
11. Dance Moms is on.
12. Real Housewives is on.
13. A preview for Scandal is on.
14. She’s just about to jump in the shower.
15. She was already in the shower but the phone was at the wrong end of the counter.
16. She was belting out “Worth It” in the shower so she missed the iPhone *ding* that everyone has.
17. Her fingers were too prune-y from bathing to recognize her fingerprint scan so she just figured she’d get to it later.
18. There is a zit that needs to be popped.
19. Or an ingrown hair to pull out.
20. She just really needs to focus on her “brow game” right now.
21. Her nails are wet.
22. She needs to go wash this face mask off.
23. She needs to examine her pores JUST IN CASE after washing this mask off.
24. Her book He’s Just Not That Into You told her to play hard to get.
25. She thinks running back to her phone while it plays “Blank Space” for the eighteenth time to see if you’ve doubled texted is playing hard to get.
26. She’s pooping.
27. Actually…she forgot her phone WHILE she’s pooping.
28. Her phone is dying and she needs to use that last bit of battery to call an Uber because she is doing one more kamikaze if it KILLS her.
29. And to Instagram herself in the bathroom because she looks HELLA skinny.
30. Her phone is hanging on to that 1% so she can’t risk it.
31. Too late. Her phone died.
32. “New phone who dis?”
33. She really, truly, is confused because she got a new phone.
34. She tried texting you but lost service and is now doing the adorable, but ineffective, hold-it-high-above-yourself-to-search-for-service act.
35. She’s worried about where the conversation will go and she hasn’t showered today.
36. Or brushed her teeth.
37. And she feels fat.
38. AND is completely enveloped in a Weeds marathon while wearing an ex-boyfriend’s sweatpants.
39. She got into a heated debate about politics and it took priority.
40. She’s trying to make you work for it.
41. She’s really bad at spelling and needs to look some things up.
42. She came out to have a good time and is honestly feeling so attacked right now.
43. Her gif didn’t work and she’s embarrassed.
44. Your Workaholics reference went over her head but she can’t admit it.
45. She’s actually a lesbian but doesn’t know it yet. But her texting self does.
46. For once, she’s just not that into you.
47. She didn’t want to text you back. .
Image via YouTube
Respond
Kendra Syrdal
Once in college John Cusack asked Kendra to sing for him. She said no. Visit her website to ogle at her face and send hate mail // kendrasyrdal.com
@kendrasyrdal
@kendrasyrdal
ksyrdal
48. Because she’s Kendra and you didn’t text her in the first place
Burn.
You the real mvp – dontreadtogood
I need 47 ways to get her to stop texting you. Dammit.
K.
This blog was absolutely horrible.
I made an account just to comment on how horrible this blog was.
Solid name choice. That’s A+ effort.
You intentionally gave her the wrong number cause realized how dreadful her columns were, and now you’re happier
49. Because she’s busy writing pointless lists that nobody cares about.
Only one reason: she’s not that interested. If she likes you, your phone won’t stop ringing.
Terrible.
If a guy says, “STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME” do you keep texting him anyways, just like you keep writing these columns?
Technically Kendra…You don’t “call” an uber.