39 Things Men Should Never Say To A Woman On Her Period

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  1. What’s wrong?
  2. You look tired.
  3. I’m kinda grossed out by blood. Sorry.
  4. Does it hurt?
  5. When did you get your first period? I want to hear all about it.
  6. Whoa! You finished your dinner before I did.
  7. Second helpings? Really? I don’t think your metabolism is as fast as you think it is.
  8. How does a tampon work?
  9. What if it gets stuck?
  10. No, really. Has it ever gotten stuck?
  11. You should call your mom. She always does such a good job of helping your self-esteem.
  12. Do you sync up with your friends? You know, like wolves?
  13. I’ve never heard of someone gaining 15 pounds of extra water weight.
  14. Please stop crying.
  15. No, really. For the love of God. Stop crying.
  16. Go for a run. Exercise helps cramps. Besides, that ice cream won’t work itself off.
  17. At least you’re not pregnant!
  18. Your hair looks really oily. Actually, your skin does, too. When was the last time you showered?
  19. You don’t wear pads, right?
  20. Bright side, babe: no condom.
  21. Is that a whisker?
  22. What’s taking so long? You’re never in the bathroom for that long.
  23. Do you want to talk about it?
  24. I know what you’re going through. One time in the 3rd grade, Becky Smith kicked me in the balls. Same thing.
  25. I really don’t think it’s as bad as you say it is.
  26. Please don’t make me buy tampons.
  27. How many more years ’til you’re all dried up?
  28. You sound like a crazy person.
  29. I think you’ve seen “Dirty Dancing” enough times for today.
  30. What if instead of eating this entire bag of chips, you, uhhh…didn’t?
  31. My ex-girlfriend didn’t act like this.
  32. My mom said you’re being overly dramatic for attention.
  33. This was a whole lot easier when we didn’t live together.
  34. Is this what you’re going to act like when you’re pregnant?
  35. You’re scaring the dog.
  36. You can’t just sit there and cry and watch shows about women murdering their husbands. You just can’t.
  37. There’s no more wine.
  38. Or Midol.
  39. Old Yeller dies at the end. And so does Jack from “Titanic.”


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Catie Warren

Catie struggles with adulthood and has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with PGP, Catie was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter. Email:

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