37 Realistic Wedding Hashtags

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There’s a current trend that’s plaguing everyone’s weddings. No, it’s not the staggering divorce rate. It’s not the extortive nature of the wedding industry. It’s not the fact that the concept of weddings are really just single shaming disguised as a celebration of love. No. It’s wedding hashtags.

Some wedding planner out there decided that a wedding-specific hashtag was the best way to define a holy union. Something that was created to help people conveniently find blurry iOS pictures on social media has gotten out of control. This trend has grabbed wedding season by the seeds and is refusing to let go. They’re tacky, forced, and no one likes them. Let’s be more realistic about what we’re really celebrating when two people get married.

1. #SheSettled
2. #SucksToBeSingle
3. #HesLoaded
4. #MomSaidDontDoIt
5. #HeAlreadyCheatedTwice
6. #2YearsTops
7. #WelcomeToOurWedding
8. #ThisWeddingCostMoreThanYourAnnualSalary
9. #OneGiantClichéAfterAnother
10. #WeFoughtAllTheTimeInCollegeSoYeahLetsTotallyGetMarried
11. #WhyIsThisWeddingInABarn
12. #SurpriseGrandmaImPregnant
13. #EveryoneFindSomethingToDoForFiveHoursWhileWeGoTakePicturesAndGetDrunkOnAPartyBus
14. #ThisCakeCostMoreThanYourCar
15. #SheMakesMoreMoneyThanHimButDontBringItUp
16. #DadHatesGroom
17. #LuckyInLoveBecauseWeWereBothRunningOutOfTime
18. #SheBrokeUpWithSomeoneSevenMonthsAgo
19. #HeCouldJustLiveAloneForeverJerkOffAndBeHappy
20. #DryWedding
21. #SomeoneMakeSureHannahIsntCryingInTheBathroom
22. #WhyIsntAnyoneWearingShoes
23. #NeitherOfUsAreVirgins
24. #TheGroomIsWearingCamo
25. #WeveGotA5050Chance
26. #ThanksForSpendingAnEntirePaycheckOnAirfareHotelAndGift
27. #ItsAToaster
28. #ThisWeddingIsHorseShit
29. #HeShouldHaveMarriedMeganSheWasCooler
30. #HoneymoonInHawaiiRealOriginal
31. #WorstCoupleYouKnowButActLikeYoureHappyForUs
32. #HourAndAHalfCeremony
33. #DontGiveUncleHarryAnythingToDrink
34. #ShouldHavePutADownPaymentOnAHouse
35. #AlreadyLivingTogetherDontTellOurParents
36. #IsThisAWeddingOrAWhiteTrashThemedFratParty
37. #WeGotAllOfOurIdeasFromPinterest

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Hey, I saw this on Post Grad Problems. Check it out.

Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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