- Is this really the best time to quit smoking?
- Do all of my nieces and nephews need presents?
- Fuck me, right?
- $99 for a throw blanket? Fuck you, Pottery Barn.
- Where did all these children come from?
- For the ninth time, what do you want for Christmas?
- Shit, what do I want for Christmas?
- Can I ask for a snowblower?
- Do you offer free shipping? What about assembly?
- Where did my dad get all of his grown up holiday clothes?
- What days are the bars open?
- Where’s the Tylenol?
- When are the fun parties?
- Are there any fun parties?
- Is anybody listening to me?
- Why don’t I own more sweaters?
- Why didn’t I do shit on Black Friday?
- Where the hell is my year-end bonus?
- How do the guys with kids pull this off?
- When will this end?
- Why can’t every Christmas be like the one where I got an N64?
- You need me to make how many quiches?
- Do I look like a guy who is capable of making quiche?
- Am I too old to ask for video games?
- We have to go where now?
- Do I have enough money for all this?
- Should I look for a new job?
- Are they hiring over there?
- Why in god’s name did I think that flying during the holidays was a good idea?
- Do I have New Year’s plans?
- Do I need New Year’s plans?
- Why do I need New Year’s plans?
- Wouldn’t I be insane to have New Year’s plans.
- Don’t you know that New Year’s Eve is the most overrated of all the holidays?
- Are you an insane person?
- Why don’t you just walk away now?.
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