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There is nothing cheesier than a dating cliché. Few things can make a date more mortifying, painful, and awkward than one of the parties trying to force a moment of Hollywood romance. Just like sex is never as graceful as it is in blockbuster love scenes, smooth lines and dating clichés don’t work the way they do in movies and television shows. In fact, there are only a few dating clichés that can actually help dial up the romance in certain situations. Use them wisely, though, or you’ll end up looking cheesy and predictable.
The Dinner At A Nice Restaurant
This is probably the most common cliché. We all grew up with pop culture images of the first date being dinner at a nice restaurant, where the guy shows up in a suit with cliché roses and cliché chocolates with cliché fillings. It’s embarrassingly lame if you try to recreate this ridiculous scene in real life. However, if you drop the high school-style flowers and candy shit, the dinner at a nice restaurant can be a silver bullet in your dating arsenal. I’m not proposing that a guy should make dinner reservations at a nice place his default first date choice–that’s a quick way to go broke in today’s Tinder “quantity over quality” dating culture, where guys accidentally group text 32 of their Tinder matches to see who’s available. However, in a situation where you’ve established exclusivity, the ambience of an upscale restaurant with the right lighting, a good bottle of wine, and a nice meal can be extremely effective in dialing up the romance for the evening. Exclusive dating is all about staying out of the doghouse, and we mutts need all the help we can get.
The Spontaneous Elevator Make Out
It’s a scene so common in pop culture that you can visualize it over and over again. Two people who are dating are in an elevator with a third person. You can cut the sexual tension with a pair of elementary school safety scissors. The annoying, unwanted, imposing third person leaves the elevator and the guy pushes the girl up against the wall and they start slobbering all over each other like it’s tequila and fried oysters night. Corny? Definitely, but it works. Pick the right time for a spontaneous elevator make out and your date will drag you right to the bedroom. Hell, the spontaneous make out in any situation will stir up the loins. It’s science. Assertiveness is a panty dropper–as are tequila and fried oysters.
The Walk On The Beach Or In The Park
I know, I’m piling on the cheese like it’s Super Bowl Sunday, complete with corn salsa and stale chips. However, going on a scenic walk gives a romantic ambience to you pretending to listen to her endless monologue. You occasionally should respond with the tried and true “Oh yeah?,” “Wow,” “Cool,” “Really?,” and “That chick sounds crazy.” Hand holding will get you bonus points and it will make her happy, which is basically the point. When I asked my dad how he’s survived so many years of marriage, he told me, “happy wife, happy life.” Don’t underestimate “long walks on the beach.” Plus, it’s even better with margaritas.
Other than these three, I cannot think of any dating clichés that are not simply embarrassing or ineffective. “The Notebook” rain make out, driving up to some lookout point to see the city lights (Where the fuck can you actually find a lookout point, by the way?) and seeing a live band and having a song dedicated to your date are all just ridiculous. Going to the movies is little more than just a way to hang out together. Keep the clichés where they belong and good luck, you sap. You’ll need it.