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- You order hot chocolate at Starbucks.
- You still receive presents from Santa Claus.
- You live at home and your mom packs your lunch for work.
- Sometimes she writes notes on your napkin.
- Your sheets have cartoon characters on them.
- For breakfast this morning, you ate Cap’n Crunch and a Fruit Roll Up.
- You don’t know how to iron.
- You frequently say things like “when I grow up…” even though you are, in fact, grown up.
- Your mom still buys your underwear.
- You ate a Lunchable for dinner last night…and the night before that.
- Your parents currently pay for your car insurance, your cell phone, or your rent. Perhaps all three.
- You don’t know what FICA means.
- You still have your Pokemon cards in a safety deposit box.
- You still don’t know the difference between a W-2 and a W-9.
- You have absolutely no idea how to balance a checkbook.
- You keep up with current events via your friends’ Facebook statuses.
- Your dad has to file your taxes.
- He also has to pay your taxes.
- Your emergency contact is still your mom. You don’t really see that changing anytime soon.
- You put chips in your sandwich and you don’t even try to hide it from your coworkers.
- You’re currently selling your old Beanie Babies on eBay.
- You rely on that $20 dollar check your Nana sends you every month.
- There’s no telling when you last ate a vegetable.
- You have John Hughes movie posters on your bedroom wall.
- You have high hopes of winning the lottery.
- You’re the oldest person at the kids’ table by twenty years, but you’re still not allowed to sit with the grownups.
- You don’t know how to schedule a doctor’s appointment.
- You’d rather ignore your problems than deal with them.
- You’re giving yourself until 40 to get it together.
Did you just jack this from Buzzfeed? All you’re missing is the slow loading gifs.
Who the fuck is Nana and why don’t I get $20 every month?
She’s sorry…she didn’t realize you still called your grandmother “Gam Gam”…
This gets posted and I have 2 pending columns? My talent for bullshit must be a depreciating asset.
Are PGP commenters just writers dialoguing with each other?
Fact.
You don’t have a vagina, therefore you don’t get your way.
White males are perpetual victims of discrimination in today’s America.
If you know what a depreciating asset is, you probably aren’t still a kid.
What’s worse, not being able to balance a checkbook, or knowing how, but refusing to do so? …Asking for a friend….
who the hell balances a checkbook in 2013
“You’re the oldest person at the kids’ table by twenty years, but you’re still not allowed to sit with the grownups.”
My life.