25 Things I Love About Friday

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Closing Outlook.
Leaving early.
That first sip of booze, even though some might say that’s a sign of alcoholism. I say to those people, “Cram it up your cram hole.”
Catching up with my best friend, Netflix.
Meeting up at the bar.
Terrible reality TV show marathons. Whether it’s some garbage like Jersey Shore or Ghost Adventures, once my pants are off, I really don’t care.
The drive home from work and not giving two shits about who saw me picking my nose.
48 hours to do whatever the hell I want, despite at least 12 of those hours being spent in a crippling hungover state.
Patios.
Happy hour.
A checking account in the black.
The cashier at the gas station asking about my weekend plans/trying to get me to say something pervy.
Hitting the ATM and being all…
Figuring out the math in my head and realizing that I can in fact take a nap before going out.
The Friday Playlist.
I would say pizza if I hadn’t eaten two Hot-N-Readies already this week.
Getting the hot waitress.
Calling my bookie.
Planning a tailgate that I will more than likely be late for.
GIving my diet the double middle finger salute.
Taking over the jukebox with “Ignition (Remix)”
The overwhelming feeling of “Fuck it” as you hand the bartender your debit card.
Printing off an elaborate dinner recipe, but ordering Jimmy John’s instead.
Completely ignoring every single email that hits your phone.
Passing out on the couch.

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