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I’m a bit of an authority on what it means to have no sense of style. After all, I have no grasp on fashion whatsoever. I didn’t realize how clueless I was until I went off to college. I was getting ready for a party and was told to wear “something casual,” so I showed up in jorts and Birkenstocks. It was only then that I realized “casual” meant sundresses and wedges.
There are others out there, who, like me, are devoid of style. You probably know who you are, or at the very least, your friends and family have alluded to your nonexistent fashion sense. If you need confirmation, just see if you identify with any of the following.
- You own a “nice” pair of Birkenstocks.
- You have worn denim on denim.
- You have worn brown on brown.
- You have worn gray on gray, and it didn’t involve sweatpants.
- You wear wolf-print shirts not to be ironic.
- You thought Andy’s style before her makeover in “The Devil Wears Prada” was chic.
- You wear flared jeans.
- Your friends have “joked around” about nominating you for “What Not To Wear.”
- You have worn an exercise top out to a bar.
- You have worn tennis shoes for a night out.
- You wear Chacos even when you aren’t participating in water sports.
- You sort your laundry into lights, darks, and grays.
- Your roommates have never asked to borrow your clothes.
- You frequently use Google to figure out outfit combinations.
- You told your friends that you would go alone to pick out your wedding dress. They panicked.
- You dress like an archeologist from “Jurassic Park,” and you consider that a compliment.
- You tuck in your shirts when you exercise.
- You dress up your outfits with a denim jacket.
- You have never accessorized, unless that includes carrying a purse.
- None of the clothes you pin on Pinterest are ever re-pinned.
- You always wear the novelty shirts people buy you on vacation.
Hey I LIKE Birkenstocks
I refuse to wear older people clothes until I’m 30. Then my life is officially over and I won’t have a problem wearing an oversized Tommy Bahama shirt.
Wait, am I supposed to wash all my clothes together? What happened to cold water is for colors and warm is for whites? My Mother lied to me.
Man, that’s sad.