======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
Bachelor. Party. SZN. Kiss the wife/gf/fiancée goodbye for 48-72 hours. Go dark on social media. Burgers for the boys. Let it fucking rip.
Go straight up Airbnb mansion. Whichever one looks the most like Wayne Manor. Hotels are a last resort option.
Under no circumstance do you stay at the same hotel at which you stay on work trips in Vegas.
Commandeer the plane’s intercom and announce that “there’s a bachelor on boooooooooooard!” The Air Marshall will love it.
Black cars everywhere. If anyone gets caught taking a taxi before 2 a.m., make them do 25 pushups.
Bottle service everywhere. Better to look like a douche than act like a peasant.
Ask your flight attendant if they can “rustle up champagne in the back.”
Ask the first bartender you meet how the slopes are around here even though you’re currently staying in Nashville.
Accuse anyone trying to book a hotel for the group of bogarting rewards points, because that was your idea.
Suits and a steakhouse on the first night or GTFO.
“Just got off the horn with Cheesecake Factory. Rezzie for 12 tomorrow night at 9:45.”
Google “Russian bachelor party” and just try your best to recreate that.
Give out MVP and LVP awards at the end of each day. MVP gets his dinner paid for by the LVP.
Order some afternoon pizza for the crew after a long day drink for those Hut Rewards or Papa John’s points. Hold off on the Venmo requests for a week, though.
Ask the bartender at the dayclub pool party what the house rules are for cannonballs.
Hawaiians only on Saturday.
First person to hit one off the tee and into the trees hits a provisional with their pants around the ankles. You’ll get off with a warning from the marshall.
$100 a hole.
Get one of those dollar bill guns. Those are cool and probably super fun.
“Strippers? No way, honey. This isn’t one of those bachelor parties.”
Cater in some mexican food on Sunday before the boys all get out of town.
Murder anyone who utters a fucking word about what happened over the weekend. Absolutely allowed. .
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
“Better to look like a douche than act like a peasant” is probably the best advice ever given on this site. Incredible stuff, McGannon.
Better to hold in your poop than release an oozing mushy goopy mess and leave more skid-marks on the hotel-room toilet than at a racetrack. Jesus H Christ was that embarassing my bung hole was like an overflowing dam from all that Tai food
Your words paint quite the picture, Sebastian.
James Joyce?
Dad?
The phrase “rustle up” needs to have a bigger presence in the American lexicon
Just got back from a bachelor party in NOLA. There were Hawaiians and strippers. And that one Hawaiian stripper.
okay but like you’re not supposed to talk about it
“$100 a hole” = the ransom/black mail amount for not telling on everyone who is with someone but puts their penises in a hole they don’t belong in…it’s 2018, guys, Narcs and capitalism reign supreme in this sauciety lol
Going for a full 18 in either case
Love the “Most/Least Valuable Partier” awards. Go hard or go home.
Going to Costa Rica for a bachelor party next month. Will do my best to pull all of these.
RIP in peace
MVP/LVP is a great idea. 100% doing it
Don’t be the guy who booked his flight for 7 am on Sunday instead of being able to recap the weekend over Sunday brunch.
Went on a bachelor party for the first one of my college buddies to get married this past weekend in Austin, and I must say, companies must make an absolute FORTUNE on these custom hats/tank tops/denim jackets that say “Bride Squad” – especially since these basically amount to one weekend uses so they don’t even have to be that sturdy/long-lasting.
so… what you’re saying is that you bought hats/shirts that said “Bride Squad” for your bachelor party crew? weird move
No, I meant that we saw a bunch of bachelorette parties with those custom items
Probably should’ve clarified that at the beginning – brain isn’t firing at all cylinders at the moment.
Sounds like you need to try some Alpha Brain
Actually, you know what?? It’s 2018 – weird move of you to judge a bunch of guys wearing “Bride Squad” apparel! I thought PGP was an accommodating community.
Swing and a miss, champ.
Getting those CC points on a bachelor party is always the move
Name checks out