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Demand to know why there isn’t a prime rib carving station even though it’s a potluck.
Three words: Eggnog ice luge.
Make the fattest intern dress up as Santa and pelt him with empty solo cups.
Also tell him he smells like beef and cheese.
Ask your boss if he didn’t host the party because his house wasn’t big enough.
Start taking CFP bets.
Get jealous because the fat intern Santa idea blew up in your face and commandeer the Santa outfit from him.
Drop some not-so-subtle about how rich your family is like “We went to see The Nutcracker every year when I was young.”
Why yes, the Capital Grill gift card with 24 dollars left on it was your contribution to Secret Santa.
Casually ask Ashley from sales if she wants some Nog Creek, which is cocktail of Knob Creek, eggnog and a nutmeg garnish.
Announce “Shitter’s full!” after Jeff from IT leaves the bathroom and continue to make the joke until it doesn’t get laughs.
Speculate on when Santa will make the change to an ecommerce and dropshipping platform to save on rising inventory and shipping costs.
“What’d you put in this mac and cheese casserole? Gouda? No, no. This has to be mimolette.”
Suggest a Christkindlesmarkt theme next year and ask your coworkers if they’ve ever been to Germany during the holidays because it is simply divine this time of year.
Pop out behind the warehouse to take a leak.
Voraciously debate that eggnog is not seasonal, and is in fact a drink that can and should be enjoyed year-round.
Change into monogrammed red silk pajamas halfway through the party.
Refer to your HR rep as a Grinch.
“Trans-Siberian Orchestra is the only good thing that came out of the Soviet Union.”
Ask where the after-party is.
Pass out in the Santa costume. .
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
I’ve told this story on PGP before but my buddy completely blacked out at his companies holiday party and was fired the next day. He still has no idea what he did at the party…nightmare material.
I’d straight up hire a private investigator to find out what happened. I couldn’t live with myself.
Yeah he said he had like 4-5 martinis within the first hour of being there which would explain the aggressive blackout…and getting fired.
The best Holiday Party Power move ever is Michael Scott reversing his Santa suit into a Jesus costume and verbally chastising everyone for their sins.
22) Get a good buzz going and leave early to go to a better bar.
Started working for a new company this year and apparently last year the CEO was going so hard on the dance floor that she fell and broke her arm and had to be taken to the hospital. I was promised that this year’s holiday party will be on par with that.
This site is going to be a ghost town in a month
Wanna be the first to leave?
When you don’t have a Christmas party. PGP.
Grandex isn’t having a Christmas party this year.
great photo
The ultimate power move is hopping up on the bar and taking a huge smelly shit.
You know you laughed.
Honestly not really
When are you going to delete this shitty account?
Laughed out loud at “Shitter’s full!”
Poor Jeff
This is my last company Xmas party this weekend. I’m going to do as much of this as I can.
Lamp shade on your head or gtfo