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Keep this up, you’ll be a junior partner in no time.
- Take two old ticket stubs to the office and leave work early, declaring you have “box seats” while flashing the tickets to your coworkers as you walk out the door.
- Only speak like Dustin Hoffman from Hook around the interns.
- Pull the “No I will not make out with you!” move at a staff meeting.
- All lion everything.
- Buy the Rocky/Apollo Leroy Neiman painting and hang it in your cube.
- Say “another good month” when you get your paycheck, despite being in a non-commission position.
- Reference your “hot streak” without giving context to what the streak entails.
- Tell people that your computer isn’t “street legal.”
- Talk about money in terms of credit card miles instead of dollars.
- Pretend to be negotiating a big business deal when a student loan collector calls your extension.
- Suggest paintball as a teambuilding exercise.
- When a coworker approaches your desk, grab the mic on your earbuds, give them the “hold on one sec” hand signal and pretend like you’re on a call.
- When a coworker IMs you, ignore them for a full five minutes before responding.
- Sarcastically clap when a rival coworker finishes their presentation.
- Ask clients where they workout.
- Drop “hashtag” before random words when talking to the social media manager.
- “What’s this cubicle, 8 by 8? Mine’s 9 by 9. No big deal.”
- Give an older coworker advice on his 401k.
- Do the “What do you mean you don’t know how to swing a golf club?” move on the secretary.
- When someone asks you what your long term goals are, reply with “Talk to my agent.”
I want that painting.
Reference Sun Tzu’s Art of War regularly.
Machiavelli also works
I can’t stop LOLing at these
Lion tie clip http://www.artfire.com/uploads/product/1/881/55881/5355881/5355881/large/steampunk_-_lion_king_of_the_jungle_-_men_s_tie_clip_bar_clasp_-_antique_silver_-_by_glazedblackcherry_ea05fc52.jpg
This is perfect.
#YOLO