- You won’t become the youngest VP in company history.
- Sitting at a desk all day is absolute hell on your lower back.
- You sound like a douche on your voicemail message.
- That 460 dollar monthly car payment was a bad choice.
- Don’t get a dog. You can’t even take care of your inbox.
- That recipe you tore out of a magazine? Yeah, you’ll never cook that, and if you do, it will suck.
- Just order the bowl at Chipotle.
- Quality beer > Quantity of beer
- You can get 3 three meals out of a large pizza if you order right.
- The IT guy hates you.
- Don’t date someone that’s still in college.
- You should go ahead and pay for the Pandora upgrade.
- Have a phone charger at your desk at all times.
- You don’t have time to make breakfast.
- You have some of the symptoms, but it’s probably not Mono.
- Don’t try to pull a Thursday through Sunday college weekend. Your body will only allow 2 nights.
- You’re too tired to go to the gym, and you’ll never wake up early to go.
- Coffee for a hangover only gets you so far. You’ll be riding the endorphin train for about 20 minutes, and then it’s moderate anxiety for the next hour.
- There’s actually some good stuff on AM radio.
- You shouldn’t do shots anymore.
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