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Why You Shouldn’t Be Cheering For The Seahawks In Super Bowl XLVII

Like any patriotic, red-blooded American male, I love the ferocious field of battle that is the gridiron, where freakishly athletic uber-humans beat the ever-living shit out of each other over a leather ball for our viewing pleasure. While I’m most passionate about college football, more specifically my alma mater, I can’t help but love the NFL, where my favorite players from my alma mater get to face off against some of the best athletes on the planet. I‘m not really dedicated to any pro team since I root for the team with the most players from my alma mater, but there are some teams that are so easy to hate. Traditionally, the Ravens, Steelers, Bears, Patriots, and Cowboys have been the targets of a lot of outside hate, but over the past few years the Seahawks have risen to be the NFL poster child of douchery.

1. Richard Sherman

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After the NFC championship game, Sherman flooded the social media world after an incoherent shouting rant in the face of Erin Andrews about how he was the best cornerback in the NFL and that covering 49ers receiver Michael Crabtree was basically easy pickings for someone of his immense, god-like talents (paraphrasing). It was like watching a sloppy audition for the WWE. Sherman basically out-Kanye-Wested Kanye West.

In the Twitterverse, Michael Crabtree rebutted by challenging Sherman to point out in the game tape where exactly he was the best. Richard Sherman rebutted with this:

This isn’t the kind of behavior you expect from an intelligent Stanford alumnus, but I suppose it’s not completely unprecedented. Now, having an ego that barely fits in CenturyLink Field is expected from some of the more talented NFL players, but there’s a well-established line between being an egomaniac and lacking class. Richard Sherman crossed that line with flying colors by taunting Crabtree based on Sherman deflecting a pretty poorly thrown ball by Colin Kaepernick to win the game. If you compare him to a more respectable, humble player like, for instance, Champ Bailey, who’s probably one of the best defensive backs of all time, you can’t help but say, well, go Broncos.

2. Pete Carroll

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Pete Carroll is an excellent coach, there is no doubt about that. He has produced Heisman Trophy winning quarterbacks at the college level and turned the Seahawks from a perennial joke into one of the top teams in the NFL. But he’s also a major asshole. People seem to forget that he jumped ship from USC once the NCAA started putting together hefty sanctions against the program.

Then there’s this. Apparently in spring 2012, Carroll had the opportunity to meet with retired 4 star general Peter Chiarelli and proceeded to badger him about whether or not 9/11 was an inside job and questioned the role of the US military in the world today. Every American has a right to ask questions, even when it pertains to ridiculous 9/11 Truther rhetoric, but it’s kind of a dick move when targeted at a retired general who met with you because he’s a Seahawks fan and he wanted to discuss head trauma in the NFL compared to head trauma on the battlefield.

There’s also been stories about him being a cocky dickwad in person. Apparently in late November/early December, he was trolling around Chicago getting in the faces of random guys, counting his bench reps out loud followed by shouting, “No pain, no gain! Only the strong survive! Only the strong survive!” after a set, offering jailbait a spot in the gym, and drinking Zima. ZIMA. What an asshole.

To top it all off, during his post-championship interview, he unapologetically spat in the face of NFL great Terry Bradshaw.

3. The “12th Man”

Anyone who has played against the Seahawks in Seattle will tell you that the home crowd is literally like having a 12th Seahawk on the field. While there have been past allegations that when the Seahawks played at Qwest Field, artificial crowd noise was blasted at the visitors’ sideline, which is a dick move in its own right, the Seahawks now play at CenturyLink Field, which was clearly designed to trap crowd noise and direct it at the field. Competitive advantage, my ass.

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The Seahawks finally decided that breaking the rules with a loudspeaker was counterproductive when they could just build a stadium that would thrive on the Seahawks’ obnoxious fan base. For this reason, Seattle is near unbeatable at home.

While we’re on the subject, let’s talk about the fans. Besides them pelting seriously injured 49ers linebacker Navarro Bowman with food during the NFC Championship, they are their own ridiculous breed. Yes, all NFL teams have ridiculously rabid fans, but I mean look at these people.

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And don’t get me started on the throwing of Skittles at BeastMode Marshawn Lynch.

4. Their Colors

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Radioactive lime green and blue? Come on.

It’s safe to say that Russell Wilson is about the only thing to like about the Seahawks and they will continue to be the team I love to hate. Go Broncos.

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5OClockShadow

"Technically, Pablo Escobar was in sales."

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