There’s not a lot I like about Halloween. Do I re-visit Hocus Pocus once every October? Yeah. Do I mess with kids as they go door-to-door while I pound beers? Of course. Do I eat so many Starbursts that I do my annual “I should probably start working out again” routine? Duh. Other than that, I kind of hate everything about it though.
But this year, for Halloween-haters, there’s actually something to look forward to: $3 burritos at Chipotle. How you ask? Here’s what they put on their website:
UNNECESSARY ADDITIVES IN FAST FOOD ARE CREEPY.
THIS HALLOWEEN FROM 5PM TO CLOSE, SPOOK US BY ADDING SOMETHING UNNECESSARY TO YOUR COSTUME AND SCORE A $3 BURRITO.
No word on if guacamole is still extra, though.
Chipotle also released a video further explaining the purpose of this campaign where a customer finds out what Chipotle would be like if they served processed ingredients rather than ingredients that they cooked by hand.
So in order to qualify for this promotion, yeah, you need to wear a costume to a fast food restaurant. And yeah, you have to find another weird addition to your costume to look even more ridiculously idiotic. But I mean, hey, you’re getting a whole $3.50 off the price of your burrito! Here, they even have some suggestions for you: a bearded fairy, a scuba skeleton, Superman-Bull, Martian Monroe, and a pirate version of a t-rex. Okay, so, yeah, those are awful ideas.
Alright, fuck it. I’m going to be a scrooge this Halloween by refusing to dress up, not buy candy for all these little fuckers dressed as minions, and head to Chipotle to shame all these costumed-out nerds while I eat a full-priced burrito. In the long run, I’ll end up saving money that I can use over Thanksgiving break when I murder the bars. .
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