A while back, I wrote a letter to dating, officially breaking up with it . While most of you probably considered that satire – I mean, how can I expect to get married if I’m not “putting myself out there?” – I assure you that I was Completely. Fucking. Serious. And a new trend amongst daters demonstrates why I am totally content to grow old surrounded by porn, cats, and fleece blankets.
According to The New York Post, the newest trend in dating is called “benching.” Being that I haven’t personally experienced benching since I’m on a self-imposed dating hiatus, let’s review the definition provided by the article:
“Benching is when someone will text you enough to stay on your radar, but they don’t actually make concrete plans to see you again. Basically, they’re not that into you, but aren’t so not into you that they want to ditch you entirely. Benching happens between people who’ve been on one or two dates, with the rest of their non-relationship playing out via text.”
Ah, ok, I think I get it. Benching happens when someone is kind of cool, but not worthy of actually making additional plans with. So you keep them on the hook via random texts, just in case. The bencher is “really busy” so you blame the lack of plans on schedules as opposed to lack of interest, meaning that you can’t get pissed at the douche who can’t carve out an hour of his/her life for a drink. Got it.
Holy shit, people are devious. Like, who sits around and consciously does this? Honestly, I think I’d rather be ghosted then benched. At least if someone just disappears, the hope of any possible relationship disappears along with them. Of course, the “nice” thing to do instead of ghosting or benching would be to simply tell someone you aren’t interested, but then again, nice guys finish last, right?.
[via The New York Post]