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The First Penis Transplant Is Truly A Cinderella Story

This Penis Transplant Is A Real Cinderella Story

I…I just…penis transplant. I’m usually not so speechless, especially when it comes to penis, but let me show you the first paragraph of this news story and maybe you’ll understand why I’m struggling a bit.

“The nine-hour operation by surgeons in Cape Town offers hope to high numbers of South African men who lose their penises due to complications with traditional circumcision.”

Where am I even supposed to begin?! You mean penises can just, like, fall off or something? Is there a serial Lorena Bobbitt-type “doctor” botching circumcisions and throwing dicks into ditches across South Africa? How do these men pee? NINE HOURS??? “Here’s your new penis and here’s some ointment. You basically just had a nine hour hand job, so if you see some chaffing, that’s probably why.”

“Experts thought the unnamed 21-year-old patient – who had to have his penis amputated three years ago after circumcision – would take two years to regain all function. However, it has taken just four months for this to occur – resulting in December’s operation being declared a success.”

Do you think he just woke up one day with morning wood? There are so many unanswered questions here.

Now that penis transplants can be done effectively, men in South Africa can rejoice. One day, they, too, could have someone else’s penis attached to their body, as it is estimated that as many as 250 South African men have to have their penises amputated each year.

“The heroes in all of this for me are the donor, and his family. They saved the lives of many people because they donated the heart, lungs, kidneys, liver, skin, corneas, and then the penis.”

Whelp, there you have it. Old penises falling off, new penises being attached…forget March Madness; this is the true Cinderella story.

[via Sky News]

Image via Stellenbosch University

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lnsayers

My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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