God forbid you’re ever required to get up and give a pep talk at work. You’ve probably been at your company for less than a year, you get paid less than a motel maintenance worker and no one in your office respects anything you have to say, but at some point, you might feel like you have something to say to give those in your presence a boost. Try with all your might to internalize your need to rally the troops. If you can’t, it’s okay. That’s why I’m here. I’m the sherpa on your journey up the corporate mountain. Join me, and send your coworkers into the market with steely-eyed determination to succeed.
Wait For The Right Moment
Odds are you’re in a meeting with the entire office. There are plenty of ears to receive your words of infinite wisdom. You’ve been to Europe. You’re well-traveled and were a B- student. You won’t have the attention of the room. You’re not the focus of the meeting. You’re just a warm body in a chair with bad back support. Wait for your moment to interject with your take on the matter. It’ll come. You’ll know when it does. Like I said, you’re ready for this moment. Swing your sword.
Make A Strong Introduction
They say first impressions are the most important. Take this chance to own the auxiliary conference room with a speech that will leave your coworkers and superiors in awe of your eloquence and leadership capabilities. The path to leadership is littered with people who have a fear of public speaking. You don’t know these people, but you must pretend like you know their struggle. They see this meeting as a big waste of time. Make it worth their while. Start off with a “Webster’s Dictionary defines ‘perseverance’ as…” or a Dwight Eisenhower quote. That’ll grab the attention of the room and they’ll hang on every word.
Speak Grandiosely And Make Promises You May Or May Not Be Able To Keep
There’s an old adage (actually made famous by someone with my last name), “Leadership is action, not position” -Donald H. McGannon. I never knew the guy, but obviously this means the action here is speaking way out of turn and making big promises that you have no chance of delivering upon. Just look at presidential election races. Those guys make ridiculous promises all the time and rarely make good on any of them. They still get elected. This is your platform to ignite a groundswell of support for yourself, and more importantly, what you’re saying. No one is really going to hold you accountable for anything.
Have A Great Wrap-Up
A lot of people like to leave what industry experts call a “takeaway” once they’re done addressing the audience. What are your colleagues going to remember the most about your pep talk? Which key points will be the most important moving forward? Which song did you play as you exited the room? You gotta have an exit song. Start playing a song as you’re wrapping up your remarks and really time your exit perfectly. I suggest you go with “The Man” by Aloe Blacc. Get out of there before the applause dies down.
Quit Your Job And Start A Motivational Speaking Conglomerate
You just killed it, and hopefully your remarks have already gone viral on the web before you’ve even made it back to your cubicle. Naturally, you will be invited to seminars the world round. Move aside, TED.