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Mailbag: Cutting Weight For Summer, Loser Friends, And Drinking When Your Pregnant Wife Is Due Soon

Mailbag

Welcome to the PGP Mailbag, wherein I will answer questions from you, our readers. Send your questions to dillon@grandex.co.

Hey Dillon Chevererererere:

Big fan of your ‘tent through all the Grandex channels and also a big fan of TB. Have a quick question about fitness that I figured you’d be the best guy from TB to ask (Dave, too obviously. But not DeFries, dude is a sock). I am currently trying to cut some weight by summer in order to look decent on the beach again, as I’ve put about 20 on over the winter months. I know you’ve recently said that you advise against just cardio on its own, but since I’ve started this journey I am down about ten but plateauing. I can’t help but think that I’m plateauing because I’m lifting and putting on mass while also doing a lot of cardio and eating very well.

To be frank, what’s the best way to cut weight without looking flabby?

Thanks!

The best way to lose fat and tighten up is always going to be a combo of cardio and weight lifting. And proper diet, of course.

I don’t advise against cardio on its own, actually, but it doesn’t work for me and what I’m trying to accomplish. I have trouble adding weight to my frame. That’s why I stopped running about a year ago. I go to the gym about five days a week and it’s got my metabo on fucking overdrive. I just be burning through cals like it’s my job. I’m trying to stack cals faster than I burn through them, but it’s a challenge. And yes I know I sound like an asshole.

“I can’t help but think that I’m plateauing because I’m lifting and putting on mass while also doing a lot of cardio and eating very well.”

This sounds like the perfect combination and you’re getting the results that everyone wants, so I don’t really see the problem. That mass you’re adding is good weight. I’d say keep doing what you’re doing. Also, stay off the scale. It can fuck with your psyche. Go by how you look, and, more importantly, how you feel.

Dillon:

I’ve been living around my hometown since my conception. I’ve moved out from my parents house but I’m still in the same neighborhood. All of my current friends are still living at home with their parents, though. The thing is, all of my friends are straight-up pot heads. They want to do nothing but come home after work, get together at someone’s garage to roll some blunts to smoke, and then go to bed right after. I’m the type of guy who wants to go out on a random Thursday to some bar I haven’t been to and try something different, yet they only want to smoke and go to bed. Question is; Should I try to entice them to come out and experience some different from what they’re used to, or should I maybe start looking for a different group of friends? How should I go about either option?

I appreciate your input, brother.

Mike from Chicago

Mike, your friends are losers. I’m sorry to say that, but sometimes the cold, hard truth is what a person needs to hear. They’re losers and you’re a loser by association by hanging out with them. If they’re going to continue being garage dopers, you need to find new friends. Bottom line. There’s that old adage about surrounding yourself with people who lift you up or you turn into a garage doper. Something like that. I believe in it. We have the propensity to become products of our environments. Be better.

Smoking pot is fine until it affects other aspects of your life. If it kills your motivation to be productive, it’s time to grow up and give your stash to a loser friend of yours.

Hi Dillon,

I’m currently writing to you from cubicle land where I work between one coworker who has been trying to cough out a lung since I’m assuming 1975, and another who starts almost every day by recapping whatever movie he watched the night before start-to-finish without anyone asking or even responding once he’s done. He also walks around in his socks, which in our corporate environment is kind of strange. Everyone has their weird habits, and we all adjust to each other, but it got me wondering what are some of the most annoying/weirdest office behaviors you’ve seen in your time?

Thanks for all the distractions!

A former Grandex employee would play music very loudly from her desk, and this started literally day one of her employment. We all listen to music in our own ways, mostly with headphones on, plus we have speakers throughout the office that we’ll use to add a little ambience. This girl would jam shit like “Bootylicious” by Destiney’s Child loud enough for the entire office to hear. That was odd.

I’m weird about the sound of people eating. There’s actually a name for what I have. Some kind of disorder. If someone is snacking near me and I can hear that squishy sound of them chewing their food, I get borderline nauseous and have to headphone up. That’s on me, though.

No idea why I’m going to you for advice on this, but I figured, maybe you can turn it into some content. So, this coming Friday, my school (Seton Hall) plays in the 1:30 first round tourney game. As you’re obviously aware, it’s also St. Patty’s, and to top it all off, our boss announced that Friday we will get out at 1 in honor of the double March Madness/St. Patty’s holiday. My 3 best friends from school are also all taking a half day, and are all planning on meeting at a bar for the game (we all work relatively close in Manhattan).

You’re probably wondering what my dilemma is? My school is in the tourney, it’s St. Patty’s, a Friday, and a half day, what’s there to consider? Here’s the catch…my wife is due to give birth to our first child on March 24th. Anyone who knows anything about pregnancy knows that at this point, the due date means nothing and she could pop at any moment. So, should I be a responsible almost parent and head straight home, sad and sober through the reveler filled streets of New York, or should I just go for it, one more great drunken day with the squad and just pray that Friday March 17th isn’t D-Day?

You absolutely cannot be the asshole who shows up hammered to the delivery of your child. You just can’t. It’s a terrible look. Not only will your wife justifiably hate you, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. That doesn’t mean you can’t go out, though.

I’d treat it like a doctor on call. Go about your regular routine, even if that means going out for St. Patrick’s Day, but stay sober. Maybe have one social beer, but don’t get buzzed. Then if you get that call, you’re in your car and on your way to meet your kid. Days that look that awesome on paper rarely live up to the hype anyway. That’s real.

P.S. It’s spelled St. Paddy’s* Day. That’s one’s free.

Dillon,

You were annihilated at Saved by the Brunch.

That’s not a question but yes I was and the anxiety on Monday was like nothing I had ever experienced. I’m lobbying to have that podcast wiped off the face of the planet but I don’t think I’m winning that one. I will never listen to it, though.

___

The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to dillon@grandex.co and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.

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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Dillon graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

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