I’d have to say that overall, couple’s costumes make me gag like the smell of stale Keystone Lattes the morning after a bangarang house party, but maybe that’s because I’ve slowly become a curmudgeon convinced I’m going to die alone. But every so often I’ll come across a couple’s costume and I’ll think, “Huh, I can kind of tolerate that.” Similar feeling I get when a friend’s hookup comes to the apartment to watch the Patriots but bearing oodles upon oodles of Trader Joe’s frozen apps. Like, I can put up with your constant commenting if I can keep studding my face with those orgasmic spanakopitas.
Enter JoJo and Jordan Rodgers’s Halloween costume. They went as a senior citizen couple, and I gotta say, I think it’s a low-key genius move. Here’s what they looked like:
Besides the fact that they look like Saturday Night Live characters thanks to some A1 quality Hollywood makeup jobs, going around as senior citizens should be an engagement requirement. Like when you sit down with your rabbi? Priest? Whoever you “sit down with” before the big day you say “‘til death do us part” (get it?), they should be making sure that you have role played the senior citizen stage of your life.
We’re talking helping Jordan down the stairs because years (read: days) of pro football have turned his joints into tissue paper. I’m talking having Jordan have to argue with JoJo’s Medicare provider about some sort of prescription drug coverage, only Jordan can only hear 30 percent of what the person on the phone is saying. There’s no better way to pressure test a relationship than going full AARP, even if it’s just a Halloween trial run.
Now, will JoJo and Jordan actually get to this stage in their life? For sure not. There are already swirling rumors that they’re on the fritz. But it never hurts to pretend that they will maybe one day grow old together. They even got to pretend what it would be like to have GILF threesome, getting Bachelor veteran Becca Tilley in the mix.
I’m curious to see what Jordan and whoever he’s banging next October dress up as. .
Image via YouTube