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Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

Happy Monday, friends! I actually say that totally unsarcastically today. I had a great weekend that knocked a ton of stuff off my to-do list, which is sending me into the coming week feeling accomplished and optimistic. Of course, that will likely be dashed within my first hour in the office, but I’m holding onto that cheerfulness for as long as possible. Even if my boss starts being a dick at 8:32 a.m. today, I still had a better weekend than these people.

Tony Romo

After the injury to his left shoulder ended his season last year, Cowboys fans were pretty psyched that Romo was back for Cowboys training camp, which started on Saturday in Oxnard, CA. Until a photo was posted of Romo looking a little…shall, we say beefier?

This, of course, lead to the internet freaking the fuck out and creating some hysterical content, such as this:

It could be the camera angle, or that his shirt was floating away from his body the moment the picture was taken…or it could be that Romo went on a serious junk food binge during his off-season, which started earlier than most believe it should have. Either way, I’m sure he’ll be fine by the start of the season — as long as the only skins he sees are of the pig variety, as opposed to the potato kind. [Via Fox Sports]

Harry Potter fans

It was a big weekend for HP fans, as the new play, “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child,” the continuation of the famous series after seven books, debuted on stage in London on Saturday and a book version was released on Sunday. According to The New York Daily News, “the production is set nearly two decades after Rowling’s seventh book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and follows the adventure of a now-adult Harry and his son Albus Severus.”

But while that is super exciting, the news that J.K. Rowling dropped over the weekend probably isn’t. Rowling told Reuters that the play is the final installment in the Potter series. She told the news wire, “He goes on a very big journey during these two plays and then, yeah, I think we’re done. This is the next generation, you know. So, I’m thrilled to see it realized so beautifully but, no, Harry is done now.”

Sorry, Potter-heads. Looks like it’s time to find your new obsession. [Via New York Daily News]

Mr. Luo

All of us love our respective hometown teams. But I’m not sure if anyone of us are as devoted as this Chinese soccer fan.

Luo is a huge fan of Chongqing Lifan, which plays in the Chinese Super League. He went to see his team play against Shijiazhuang Everbright on Sunday, and when Lifan scored a penalty, Luo screamed so hard that he actually collapsed his own lung.

According to The Daily Mail UK, the trouble began after the cheering:

He said ten minutes later he suddenly felt a tightness. He sipped some water and then choked a little and his back started to hurt.

He thought it was a stitch and took a quick breath and he suddenly became nervous.

His girlfriend helped him through the crowd to find an off-site ambulance. He rested for about 10 minutes and did not see an improvement.

A police car took him to the First Affiliated Hospital of Chongqing Medical University where they took an X-ray.

After a medical examination, it was determined that Mr Luo had pneumothorax, which is often referred to as a collapsed lung, and needed surgery.

On the other hand, Chongqing Lifan won the game, so maybe it was worth it? [Via Daily Mail UK]

Draymond Green

When will people learn that private parts and phones just don’t mix? Draymond Green was the latest victim of this embarrassing combo over the weekend.

Originally, Green claimed that the picture of his drum stick was posted on his Snapchat account by a hacker.

But either Green figured out that no one was going to buy that story, or the feedback on his piece was so positive, he wanted to claim responsibility for it. Either way, Green manned up (literally) and told ESPN’s Calvin Watkins that said he had indeed posted the pic on Snap.

The real question is…did anyone screenshot that? [Via The Score]

The Australian Olympic Athletes

We’ve all heard the stories about how the Olympic village is a complete nightmare. Well, it turns out the building isn’t the only threat.

On Friday night, the athletes were evacuated from their building in the village due to a fire, which was started when a worker tossed a cigarette into a rubbish pile in the village basement. Coincidentally the fire alarms were turned off at the time, so…#safety. Anyway, the athletes all made it out of the building safely, but that wasn’t the worst of it: while the athletes were outside, they were robbed – by the people who had come to save them.

The Brazilian firemen who evacuated the building are being accused to stealing several items from the athletes, including Zika-protective shirts and a laptop. Kitty Chiller, the head of the Australian Olympic team, saw the firefighters making off with the goods when she returned back to the village in the middle the evacuation. She thought perhaps the team had gifted the rescuers with the shirts for evacuating them safely, but it turns out that wasn’t the case.

Probably going to be pretty hard to complete when you’ve got to sleep with one eye open in case of fire…or robbery by firemen. [Via Daily Mail UK]

Image via Ken Durden / Shutterstock.com

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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