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Consultants Are A Rip Off, According To Consultants

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So, Consultants, what would you say you do here? Not a lot, according to other Consultants.

Colleges and universities across the country, which have just become overpriced, bloated behemoths with poor business models, are hiring high-priced consultants to cut their costs. These consultants claim to be able to cut costs of up to 4% a year, which can be a ton of money when you consider universities with billion dollar endowments. But are they doing it?

Survey says: NOPE!

According to a report from Inside Higher Education, a team from the Education Advisory Board found that most schools only save half that much when hiring high-profile consultants.

“According to the new research, colleges reported saving only 2 percent on average so far. That might increase to 2.2 percent when all is said and done, though, because of cuts the colleges are still making. That’s pretty close to the low-end “base case” of savings consultants gave colleges, of 2.6 percent in savings, but a long way from the best-case scenario of 4 percent.”

Furthermore, the Education Advisory Board discovered that while many high-profile consultants try to sell a school with razzle and dazzle on how to save money and try to convince them that their firms’ way is better than others, the advice that consulting firms provide schools is basically the same. “There’s a playbook, so to speak, for this.”

Take the EAB’s advice with a grain of salt, however, because they themselves are consultants. Even the consultants hate consultants, so there you go.

Colleges across the country, take note: If you want to cut costs, just do yourselves a favor and cut out the bullshit bureaucracy that every school has. Put everything on a damn computer and fire all the idiots that make you get physical stamps and signatures and forms if you want to add or drop a class, or pay a bill, etc. Bursar and registrar offices are comically obsolete in this day and age, and their only discernible purpose is to piss people off, so get rid of them already. There’s your money.

Also, cut the least popular classes at your universities. I’m half-Greek and I’m telling you to stop offering Ancient Greek courses. What degrees could that POSSIBLY apply towards? Most schools don’t even offer MODERN Greek, but you can learn Ancient Greek. If you want to learn that, do it on your own time, gay ga zinta hete as we say in Yiddish. Don’t teach Yiddish either, let that get passed down from generation to generation. If you teach a dead language and you object to this, well, maybe you should’ve thought of that before TEACHING A DEAD LANGUAGE. Knowing Sanskrit and Esperanto is not a marketable skill in 2014. It wasn’t even a marketable skill in 14 A.D.

Just a thought, major universities.

[via Gawker]

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