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Binge Drinking Is A Sign Of Intelligence

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It seems fairly pointless to state the obvious, but studies have shown that intelligent people hit the bottle harder and far more often than the inept masses.

Why is this so, you ask? Well, there are there have been multiple studies done to explain this inherent phenomenon and scientists have come up with three explanations:

1. Alcohol is considered fairly new (hasn’t been around for more than 10,000 years) and more intelligent people tend to take up new habits and trends because they are the ones more likely to succeed, procreate (sometimes in bar bathrooms) and evolve. Kind of like drunk Pokémon.

2. In high school and college (and any schooling after that) the nerds spent more time with their noses buried in books, so they’re making up for so, so much lost time at the bottom of a gin bucket.

The third explanation makes the most sense and covers all manners of sins.

3. Smart people drink because they can’t deal with stupid people in a sober state of mind. Do you find yourself drinking heavily because you can’t handle the stress of constantly being surrounded by idiots? Alcohol numbs the pain of hearing inane comments and incorrect information — thus allowing you to be more forgiving of the schmuck next to you in social situations. Think of it as a drinking game, every time you correct someone else’s grammar it’s time for another shot.

What’s more, there have been studies where they made both sober and intoxicated people do word puzzles, and the inebriated ones have performed faster and better. Apparently we don’t only think that we’re smarter and have more extensive vocabularies when we’re drunk…we actually do. Thus making my “slutty walking thesaurus” Halloween costume that much more tangible. How many ways can one say “low self-esteem?” Well you’ll find out in three months!

[via Psych Today]

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sarahsolfails

Writer in NYC. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Being crazy isn't enough."

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