Work sucks, I know. Those Blink-182 lyrics have never rung truer than they do now. However, one of the benefits of living in the 21st century, is that there is always a platform to complain for the purposes of stress mitigation. Some people use Twitter, others use Facebook. A select few use The Wall on PGP.
However, you will find no better website to find people complaining about their job than Glassdoor.com. I’m sure many of you know what it is, but if you don’t, its essentially serves as the comments section of the company’s website. Completely anonymous, users on Glassdoor can leave genuine reviews of the company, provide an overview of salary/benefits and life at the company for prospective jobseekers, and interview tips. Nah, just kidding, its mainly for just shitting on the company. The worse the company, the better the reviews. Text from the review is italicized.
“M.D. is truly a great place to work. I’ve never worked with such kind, down to earth, caring people. The executives make decisions with each employee’s best interests in mind. They stay on top of trends in the market by offering perks like a “Balance Day” so that employees have great work/life balance, and can work their hours in 4 days per week, and take Monday or Friday off. And they are so passionate about their clients and staff. Thank you Charlotte for an amazing opportunity.”
Pretty specific details in this review. Suspiciously specific. Sounds like someone either loves their job a lot, or works in human resources. I’m banking on the latter. Nice little shout out to Charlotte the CEO for creating such a wonderful company that serves clients and employees well. It’s important to have a leader that is ethical and a role model. I’m sure other reviews will notice this as well.
My Role Model, Charlotte!
Former Employee – Intern
“Every employee helped pave my path and the leader of the team, CEO Charlotte, was so inspiring and kind that I hope to return next year again as an intern and eventually be a permanent member of M.D.”
Ah, the old intern review. Easy to stay super positive during an internship when you can look forward to football, bars, half-assing classes, and waking up at noon every morning come the fall. Also, pretty savvy move leaving a positive review as an intern so you can come back as a post-grad. But despite that, this place seems like a great place to work. And Charlotte? Why aren’t we nominating her for a Nobel Peace Prize?
Don’t Be Fooled By Positive Reviews Here. RUN AWAY.
“Your worst work nightmares come true. Thumbs down on everything this place represents. Advice to management: why bother.
Don’t be fooled! RUN!!!
Mid and junior employees literally get SICK working here. When your body is pushed in different directions and insulted and offended, no wonder your body is telling you to stop. It’s a medical place but rarely anyone is truly healthy. People can’t even sleep at night.
The Devil Wears Orange
The CEO makes every cruel, heartless criminal look like an angel. The Friday ”Happy Hour” is far from happy. Rumor has it that the CEO bills clients for an exorbitant amount of hours. How is the CEO billing hours of work when she is on a yacht in the Bahamas NOT working?”
“Charlotte is not only a horrible CEO, but just a rotten human. Team meetings at 8:30 AM and 6:30 PM DAILY. Invest in therapy. Also, now that Charlotte’s husband Frank is CFO, it must be easier to cook the books. All facts.”
Well this Glassdoor page certainly took a nosedive. There will always be negative reviews on Glassdoor but some of these are insanely specific. Like the CEO being on a yacht in the Bahamas and billing clients for it? The Husband/CFO cooking the books? Physically and mentally ill employees? This sounds less like Working Girl with Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford, and more like the WWE with Stephanie McMahon and Triple H. And speaking of WWE legends:
The Donald Trump of PR Agencies…Indeed
Bold claim. Let’s move on.
“Because I find this organizations glaringly obvious attempt to post FAKE reviews hilarious, I decided to write a parody of the below post to add to the joke that is the M.D. CEO. Please take note of the similar pattern and tone of comments found in 4-5 star rated reviews as they are likely drafted by the CEO/CFO themselves.”
If you have hate in your heart let it out! Take us to church, former anonymous employee!
“Like Donald Trump, this company is managed by a loud, rich, out-of-touch, insensitive bigot who justifies her ridiculous behavior with the profits she has made by ripping off clients, vendors and underpaid employees. It’s not unusual to see her stroll into the office at 10 AM after a vacation on her yacht, bragging about her tan, flaunting her expensive clothes and jewelry.”
Yachts, fraud and cruelty. I’m seeing a theme. But let’s be honest, the comment about strolling into the office at 10 a.m. after a yacht vacation was made out of jealousy. Who doesn’t want to do that? #AlwaysBeYachting.
“The CEO should quit and work at Starbucks, she may just learn valuable virtues like: humility, patience and empathy.
Humility, patience and empathy do not pay for yachts. Better start slinging crates of cold brew and selling the pumpkin spice syrup on the black market if you’re going to keep up with #YachtLife.
“Advice to management: For Charlotte, CEO: Take advice from your peers, read books, listen to TedTalks…all you do is put people down, throw tantrums like a pre-pubescent child and expect the world to bow to your every command. But hey, just like Trump will make America great again by pushing out all the Muslims and Mexicans…I suppose you’re making PR great again by pushing out all the talented staff and exciting clients.”
This anonymous employee wove a tapestry of hate. I picture this person sitting in their cube right after putting in their two weeks and unleashing this diatribe. Probably felt like poison leaving the body. Employers have the ability to reply back to reviews, but 99/100 times, it’s the same bullshit from HR that says, “we’re sorry you had a negative experience at [INSERT COMPANY], it’s helpful to hear from employees’ first-hand, so we can learn from their experiences and make improvements.” However, in true Donald Trump fashion, Charlotte wasn’t going to let this comment go unanswered and she made it personal:
As management, I wish to address that your posting is defamatory in nature and does not give an accurate portrayal of M.D.…It’s interesting to see how much time and energy you have taken to write your mendacious review that is inaccurate in all levels.
You mentioned that you were an employee of M.D. I am aware that we have had a few people that did not possess the skill of effective time management that became evident and was counterproductive in servicing our clients.
Hmmm pot calling the kettle black. Hard to call someone out for time management when you’re accused of rolling in at 10 and scheduling meetings at 8:30 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. But I digress.
These people were appropriately terminated. It is safe to assume you were one of these individuals that feel the need to write a negative review/reviews with invalid facts to validate the fact that you were unable to work at the pace that our successful employees do. I sincerely wish you the best and suggest that you give a try to creative fictional story writing. Best of luck.
In conclusion: “These people deserved to be fired, and you were one of them.” Not only did she hit this person with “I sincerely wish you the best, best of luck” and which is the corporate way of saying, “I don’t care about you in the slightest bit, and you may as well be dead because it wouldn’t matter to me” but she also put this person in a body bag with the “take up fictional writing” jab.
According to her employees, the CEO may be lacking in leadership, but if the clients come calling for her head, she sure as hell has an opening waiting for her on Trump’s speechwriting team..