Everyone has their own secret hangover cure that they swear by. My go-to is popping a couple Advil before bed, getting a good night’s sleep, and combatting it with a McGriddle and a very large coffee. Other common cures include a cold shower, drinking Pedialyte, or merely staying drunk thanks to your local Bloody Mary bar. You probably have a routine that you stick to religiously. However, if your go-to cure starts to fail you, it may be time to change your routine and start looking outside the box. The good news is that scientists found the “best new hangover cure” to help you out with your Sunday Scaries. The bad news? It involves hitting the gym, and I’d honestly rather let my hangover kill me.
Australian fitness trainer and gym owner Jason Simoes confirmed all of our worst nightmares when he decided to fill the world with the blasphemy that the best hangover cure is actually to hit the gym. While I would claim this under “alternative facts,” Simoes claims that your hangover isn’t getting any better by lying in bed, so instead, you should get your sorry ass out of bed and onto the treadmill, because you’ll at least rehydrate yourself by drinking the water you’re sweating out. People that go to the gym inform me that working out releases endorphins which make you happy and will help with that hangover, although I have personally not found any evidence of this in my personal life and believe that the scientific community is lying to me on this one.
Of course, it’s not completely hopeless – on the bright side, Simoes recommends that you keep your feet firmly planted on a cardio machine and stay away from the free weights, primarily because your hungover mind is too slow to react appropriately and you really don’t want to drop a 145-pound deadlift bar on your toes. While Simoes might be okay with ditching Crossfit on Sundays for some time with the cardio bunnies, I’m going to give this hangover “cure” a hard pass. Maybe one day my greasy breakfast sandwiches and “Friends” reruns will stop working, but if that day comes and I get a hangover so bad that it might literally kill me, I can assure that my last moments will be spent laughing at Joey and not on the elliptical. If I die, I die, but at least I won’t have to live in a world where I feel like I’m dying, ya feel me? .
[via Daily Mail]