We should’ve seen this coming.
We should have seen the signs when Coca Cola brought back Surge. We shouldn’t have ignored the warnings when Crispy M&Ms made their triumphant return. Jurassic World. The Sailor Moon reboot. The abortions known as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and MTV’s Scream TV series. We knew, but we didn’t care; a 90’s Nostalgia Wave was coming, and soon we might reach an oversaturation of Generation Y culture.
Well folks, critical mass is finally here. Nickelodeon is launching a new channel called “The Splat,” which will be… all 90’s shows, all the time.
DAMN YOU, BUZZFEED. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.
But seriously, Nickelodeon has finally decided to listen to their older fans clamoring for something funny to watch while they’re high and craving a nostalgia trip while eating Hot Pockets at 2 a.m. No more will you have to deal with scouring the Internet for your favorite Nickelodeon Shows, or relying on Netflix, Amazon Prime or…shudder…Hulu Plus. All your favorite shows will all be in one place – Hey Arnold, Rocko’s Modern Life, Rugrats, etc. – and pre-scheduled by some anonymous network executive, just like God intended; no more pesky freedom of choice for you!
Details on the network so far are sparse, but Nick is ready for a BIG launch. They’ve got a website, a Facebook page, Twitter, you name it. They’ve even got a Tumblr page just in case you want to see some godawful out-of-focus blurry photos with mopey, emo captions while you watch your Nicktoons.
This will no doubt be a smash hit in the ratings. Back in 2011, when Nickelodeon launched a similar 90’s themed block, “The 90’s Are All That” on TeenNick, they drove the ratings up for that channel 800%. That’s right. 800. According to Vulture, an episode of “All That” brought in 265,000 people. That might not sound like much, but compare it to their audience in the exact same time-slot the week before: 33,000. Total. (For the record, the program that drew such a low audience was a repeat of “Malcom in the Middle.” Poor Franke Muniz.)
So, if you want to watch Hey Arnold, Rocket Power, or, for some godforsaken reason, Catdog, soon enough you’ll be able to find it all in one place: The Splat.
Seriously. Catdog. Wasn’t allowed to watch it growing up. My mother thought it was “dumb, unwatchable, bullshit garbage” and the sight of it made her angry. But to her credit, Catdog is dumb, unwatchable, bullshit garbage. .
[via Entertainment Weekly]
Image via YouTube