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There’s a term you’ve probably heard before – “Ride the wave.” Without going into too much detail, “the wave” is essentially another word for momentum. Things going well with the ladies? Keep shooting until you go cold again. On a bender? Keep drinking before the hangover sets in. Crushing it at work? Put in some extra hours so you don’t feel as bad taking three-day weekends for no other reason than to get hammered. Ride. The. Wave.
When you’re single, riding the wave is easy. You don’t have anyone to answer to, or anyone that needs to answer to you. When you’re single, you’re out there wheeling and dealing trying to find the one at every bar your Uber will take you to. And when you’re single, you’re going out pretty much every night.
But then you get locked down. And then you stop going out as much. And then your hungover Saturday brunches turn into runs to Home Depot. And then you go home, nap, and stay in for the night watching a romantic comedy rather than hitting the bars with all your single friends. The hangovers lessen, the responsibilities increase, and all of the sudden you’re a married adult.
Or, at least, that’s how I assume it works, especially now that I’ve read this study from Psychiatry Online that says you’re much less apt to develop an alcohol problem after marriage. Per the study, women have a 71% lower risk of developing an alcohol problem once they’re married compared to men who are at a 60% lower risk.
Of course, this makes complete sense. Remember ol’ Jimmy? Ah, can’t go out this weekend because he’s gotta stay at home with the kids. Tom? Ol’ ball and chain been keeping him down lately. Jeff? He’s been to four straight weekends of baby showers, that poor son of a bitch.
No word on whether or not married people are just getting bombed alone at their houses, though. I’d bet my money on that before I bet on my friends turning sober. No one said you can’t ride the wave solo. .
[via Psychiatry Online]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
@willdefries
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shit, I sometimes get bombed alone at my house right now and I’m single. but we all do that…right guys?
the Catfish episode that came on tonight after the Challenge was about a dude that moved from Michigan to Austin.
Didn’t watch. Just assumed it was Will…
You’re blowin’ my cover, man.
We take wine on ice in a tumbler for Home Depot runs. I know you can appreciate that DeBreeze
I went to Home Depot with the Mrs. last Saturday. MLP.
Yeah, we’re just getting bombed at home alone while watching weird indie movies on Netflix. Thing is, it only takes us two or three drinks to get drunk and we fall asleep at 10:00. Then we wake up at 7 and go to Home Depot, probably. It’s one of those unspoken rules of marriage.
I actually took it easy Friday night in order to make the Saturday morning HD trip easier this weekend. But then I got a couple tanks of propane and spent all of Saturday grilling and day drinking so I’m calling it a wash. Life’s not bad.