Your Summer Vacation Snap Stories Are Making Me Regret Not Becoming A Teacher

Your Summer Vacation Snap Stories Are Making Me Regret Not Becoming A Teacher

I’ll be the first to admit that teachers have one of the toughest gigs of any of your adult friends. When I was in school, I took all my educators for granted. They’re like pro-athletes, doing work behind the scenes when everyone else is resting, making sure they’re at their best. And unlike pro athletes, they’re not exactly making millions to put all that work in. It’s a very respectable living, but unless they’re pulling a Varsity Blues‘ Ms. Davis at West Canaan, they’re not reaching the top tax bracket.

I thought about being a teacher at one point myself. Teach some History or English, coach some baseball, etc. Once I realized that I hate teenagers that plan was nixed, but I digress. The point is that teachers are the real MVPs. Not many of you reading this — and certainly not the author — can say that their life’s work is to help make other people better. So a tip of the cap to teachers; we all respect you far more than we respect ourselves.

But, just like pro athletes, teachers get an offseason. While that offseason likely isn’t spent going to Germany for knee treatments, partying with Leo at Cannes, or murdering acquaintances in a Boston suburb, if you have any teachers on your Snapchat you know this is true: From roughly mid-June to late-August, educators are getting pretty lit via their stories, and it’s taking a toll on my personal happiness.

While I slave at my desk with my lower back throbbing due to shitty chair lumbar support, my snap stories are filling up with friends enjoying nearly three months off the clock. I should avoid Snapchat at work all together, but procrastinating is life, so I’ll always dive deep into anything that’s going to distract me from my work duties. But that’s where I see it. The beaches, the travel, the seemingly endless rounds of golf. I’m staring at a spreadsheet that’s burning my eyeballs like the Lost Ark while my high school coach buddy is staring at the back nine.

Oh hey, art teacher friend, nice beer-plus-ocean-view snap with the “VIBESSSSS” caption blared across the center. It’s 9 a.m., and I just spilled coffee on my pants, but glad to see you’re enjoying the spoils of life.

Am I being bitter? Definitely. I’m not complaining about seeing snaps from my friends at 11 p.m. that say, “Still grading papers….” or “Parent-Teacher conference” followed by multiple poop emojis. I get that these months of freedom aren’t being given without immensely hard work. But holy shit, the amount of FOMO I’m getting from seeing someone who doesn’t have to clock in until August drinking on a patio on a Wednesday afternoon is absolutely killing my mood on a daily basis.

I could stop — no, I should stop. I’m torturing myself with these snap stories. The loss of summer vacation is probably one of the top-five worst things about post grad life. When the calendar turns to June, the only difference it makes to me is sometimes I sweat like LeBron James watching a Rogaine commercial whenever I walk to my car for lunch. Summer used to mean no work, no school, and complete freedom. And that’s what these teachers are still experiencing. Did I make the wrong career choice? Yeah, maybe.

As much as I’d hate dealing with teenagers and would refuse to work late at night grading their dogshit assignments — not to mention working with all their overbearing sports parents as a high school coach — I’m a huge fan of extended periods of no work. They may be putting twice the work in that I am while they’re on the clock, but right now I’m just an old jealous guy who only sees young fellow post grads putting out the chillest vacation vibes one ten-second video at a time. I had my chance to go down that path and it just wasn’t right for me. But every single one of you that I follow on Snapchat is now reminding me that I passed on a life with two-to-three months of no Sunday Scaries. Is being a teacher the career with the most chill? Judging by the snap stories for at least a couple months, yep, looks like it.

Image via Shutterstock

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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