Your Face Was Formed By Millions Of Years Of Bar Fighting, Pretty Much


The “no touching of the hair or face” rule apparently didn’t apply in 3,998,986 B.C. Scientists have discovered that the evolution of the human face was likely caused by ancient humans socking each other in the grill, four million years ago.

University of Utah biology professor, David Carrier and his partner Dr. Michael Morgan used data from hospital and emergency wards to uncover which parts of the face are most often damaged during reported fights.

“Jaws are one of the most frequent bones to break — and it’s not the end of the world now, because we have surgeons, we have modern medicine,” Carrier told the BBC. “But four million years ago, if you broke your jaw, it was probably a fatal injury… You’d just starve to death.”

So, only the strong-jawed survived. It was previously believed the human jaw strength, specifically in males, was developed by the chewing of tough raw meat, but this theory is way cooler.

Here, we have the best example of this theory on evolution, as showcased by Powers Boothe in “Tombstone”:

Screen Shot 2014-06-13 at 11.23.05 AM

There’s also video of what life was like four million years ago:

So, next time you take a haymaker to the moneymaker, be sure to thank your ancient ancestors for taking that shot to the face millions of years ago.

[via CNET]


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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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