You’ll Probably Die Alone If You Use Poor Grammar

You'll Probably Die Alone If You Use Poor Grammar

if u txt lyke dis, ur probly gunna die alone.

According to a recent survey conducted by Zoosk — you know, that dating website you may or may not have succumbed to at this point in the game — millennials say that grammar is an important aspect to consider while on the digital dating journey toward the promised land (also known as, whether or not you’re going to get laid on a regular basis).

The survey found that 33 percent of those polled would give the benefit of the doubt to someone with occasional poor grammar usage while messaging, but would ghost you completely if it became habitual. An additional 31 percent would at least give you a chance. Personally, you were dead to me at the first incorrect usage of “too/two/to.”

“Blatant spelling errors were the ultimate turn off, with the incorrect usage of there/their/they’re and your/you’re coming in second. Incorrect usage of punctuation wasn’t found to be too offensive, but when combined with spelling errors and improper forms of tenses produced many an eyeroll and reduced the likeliness of the person receiving a response,” according to the survey. “People don’t want to share their thoughts with someone who can’t articulate theirs.”

In plain English, read: nobody wants to date someone who presents themselves as stupid. And if you can’t take the time to properly spell the contracted version of “you are,” what else could you skimp out on in the relationship? Score one for the home team.

If you’re sitting there chomping at the bit, waiting for me to decipher emoji usage… We use them, probably too much.

“The modern day hieroglyphs have become so ubiquitous that the laughing through tears symbol was named word of the year for 2015.” But while some emojis are pretty straightforward, others can be perceived differently by different people. It’s a one-way street towards becoming lost in translation.

But, if he writes with the grammar of a young F. Scott Fitzgerald, consider him a keeper. If he contributes intellectually, I suggest finding out where he contributes elsewhere. To be fair, many of us consider “50 Shades of Gray” the great American novel of our time.

[via Salon]

Image via Shutterstock

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My state gave you J. Law, Clooney, two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys, and multiple fifths of bourbon. I gave you a cover letter using Brian McKnight lyrics. Psuedo-adult by day; PGP, TFM, and TSM contributor by night. Please don't ask me to do math.

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