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Okay, so I’m watching some Netflix movie… here’s the snopsis: Guy takes girl on a hike to surprise her with a romantic proposal, but, big spoiler alert: there’s a bear that comes and merks him.
Now, I’m initially going to look at this from the guy’s perspective… This was a decently romantic gesture: Take your girl for an escape (his apparently “favorite” spot growing up), a hike to a spectacular view, where he planned to take knee and propose… easy comes, easy goes, with a perfect atmosphere to Instagram it. I’m sure he was concealing a shiny, surprise ring in his camping gear that she could immediately brag to all her friends about, slam dunk!
Nope. In this movie, the lady wasn’t quite sure… They had to postpone that engagement (fine, because they were lost). THEN, (spoiler again), the dude completely dies because a 1,000+ pound animal decided that berries were dumb and human flesh was better. Bear got him. Got him good. He’s done. Gone. Forest trash. Forever.
NOW, no one’s getting married. In fact – I haven’t finished the movie yet, but I bet she’s pretty bummed about it.
Look! The point is: Let me ask everyone an important question: Do you think you could move on if your significant other gets eaten in front of your eyes by a bear? Or any other vicious animal? It could happen. Everyone hikes! Dorn almost got stomped out by horses! Nature is real.
Can you handle it? That’s my question..
Respond
The bear won’t send subliminal messages through social media that mess with my mind, so I’ll probably take the death.
Yes I will.
I mean, I’d definitely rather have a shitty break up than die. Seems pretty straightforward.
Especially considering bears don’t kill their prey before eating them. They just disable them and eat them alive. Fucking brutal!
Dwight?
I’d rather be taken out by a bear than date Girl
This is the question of our time.
I’m nearly positive that bears only exist because God wanted to keep man kind from getting too cocky. Oh, a shark? Just get out of the water (or tornado). A bear will follow you into a river and own you. Also they can run at around 40 mph. “Just climb a tree.” Guess what, dude, these things are basically born in trees. “I’ll just shoot it.” Yeah. I hope you carry a high powered rifle everytime you go hiking and are calm enough, as it charges at you, to get a direct shot to the head, otherwise you’re just gonna pissed it off more. I’ll take the breakup
Have you see The Revenant? If it did that to Leo, imagine what it would do to me. Take the bad breakup, duh.
Yeah, but the sweet release of death.
My ex and I were talking about moving in together and getting engaged, so when he started his new job he made me his life insurance beneficiary. So… if the relationship was going to end anyways the very sick selfish side me would be able to move past seeing him killed in front of me. (Side note: I would never wish death on him, but this isn’t even a possibility so I’m taking that life insurance money.)
Bear all the way. Went through a really, really bad breakup in college and it got ugly…real quickly. The breakup haunts my dreams.
Probably
No I take it back probably not my girlfriend makes the best low country boil I’ve ever had sorry for the mix up
Give me the bear.
Or give me death! Oh wait…