Yeah, So, The Melbourne Cup Horse Race In Australia Was Out Of Control

Yeah, So, The Melbourne Cup Horse Race In Australia Was Out Of Control

Me? I love horse races. I don’t care about the odds. I don’t care about the track conditions. I don’t care about where in the world it is.

Case in point: Australia’s Melbourne Cup that took place today (or incredibly late last night/early this morning, if you’re living in the United States). The race is, “Australia’s most prestigious Thoroughbred horse race. Marketed as ‘the race that stops a nation,’ it is a 3,200 meter race for three-year-olds and over.” It takes place every year on the first Tuesday in November, and is actually considered to be a national holiday down under. So, yeah, it sounds like The Kentucky Derby took steroids.

I mean, you know it’s going to be lit (did I say that right?) when there’s a Snapchat story around it, so here’s a rundown of what happened.

This biscuit pushed a cop into a bed of flowers before getting arrested / acting like she had no idea what she had done:

This dude (via Snapchat) wore a tuxedo and took a chopper to the track, because that’s what rich ballers do.


…and then there were just a bunch of people who clearly had no idea where they were.

Goodnight to all the day drinkers! 🏇🏾🙄🍾 || #TYSONANDPEPPA #MELBOURNECUP

A photo posted by TYSONANDPEPPA (@tysonandpeppa) on

Including all these people, via the BBC.





But, per usual, Instagram takes the cake for being an absolute talent show. I’ve got a theory that Australia produces the hottest girls, and these photos prove that it’s not just because of the accent.

happy Melbourne cup day 🏇🏆 #favouritedayoftheyear #melbournecup

A photo posted by @georgia_louise92 on

Taking you all the way through 12am #raffleshotel #perthisok #melbournecup

A photo posted by Raffles Hotel Perth (@rafflesperth) on

Melbourne cup day ❤ #melbournecup #crazysexycool #modellife #friends #matissebeachclub

A photo posted by Kaylee Mae (@kaylee_mae120) on

Cheers to Victory ! #MummRacing #MelbCupCarnival #mumm #melbournecup #Regram @ghmummau

A photo posted by Maison MUMM (@ghmumm) on

Those tiles!!! ◾️🔷◾️#sueisadmiringtheleaves #melbournecup #singaporeracing #tiffanys #onlydecentpicigot

A photo posted by Lisa Clayton OZFIT Bootcamps! (@lisaclayton77) on

🐎😍 #springracing #racewear #instafashion #springracingfashion #melbournecup #fascinator #blondshavemorefun #greeneyes #picoftheday #instagood #smile

A photo posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Christie Connor 💎 (@christie_vienna) on

Great day at the races #melbournecup #goldcoastturfclub #30thbirthday @kristiinaanneli @beckyjudd @roxymoore89

A photo posted by Gold Coast – Australia (@joeldening) on

My friends are hotter than yours 🙊 #melbournecup #raceday #10s #fuckthoseheels

A photo posted by @claireejs on

…including the winning jockey, because everyone looks hot with a trophy in their hands.

So, yeah, I’m going to need a few weeks off next year to attend both the Melbourne Cup and The Hunt.

Featured Image via Twitter

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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