Writers’ Roundtable: Which Celebrity Do You Wanna Party With?

Writers' Roundtable

Everyone loves a good night out on the town. While you’re expected to slowly grow up as you age, you can’t help but still love to rage. Hopefully by now you’ve got one story of having at least a drink with a celebrity of some sort. The dream is getting hammered with a legendary party-animal of a celeb, so our writers make their pick for which alive/dead celebrity they’d love to rage with:

I would rage with Matt Stone and Trey Parker. So much of my humor is influenced by them. I would love to rip bingers and be a fly on the wall while they think of outlandish things to make episodes about. I can’t even imagine the shit they talk about that can’t be put on TV.– MadoffInvestment

John Mosby. Dude was a badass that would sneak into enemy camps in the middle of the night just to fuck with other generals and steal their stuff. One time he was trotting back and forth in front of an enemy regiment just to taunt them, and he got shot in the nuts. He escaped on his horse and was back in battle three weeks later. Would love to throw down with this guy.–Delph

I’d have to chill with Bob Marley. We’d have a good time chilling in Kingston with a tropical drink and doobie combo.– PostGradShibby

I’ve always been a huge Great Gatsby fan, and would love to go on a bender during the roaring 20s, so I’m taking F. Scott Fitzgerald. By all accounts he went decently hard, but I really just need him to get me into a Gatsby-esque party so I can douse myself in champagne and prohibition-era whiskey. — Kyle Bandujo

Bill Murray is my #1 draft pick. I want to throw back a dangerous number of shots and pop bottles with this guy. Maybe get some tasteful matching ass tats. Cinderella story, outta nowhere.–Taylor Stovall

Gronk, and that’s the only acceptable answer. I feel like I don’t need to explain myself here– Improper Brostonian

Going Dirk here. He’s German, so you know he drinks 10,000 beers. Remember those pics with Steve Nash? Google “Dirk and Nash drunk” and have fun. I know it would end with me weirding him out by the end of the night after telling him how important he is to D/FW sports over and over again, but I’d regret nothing. — Dave

The Happy Mask salesman in “Zelda: Ocarina of Time”– JR Hickey

Michael Scott. In the fictional Office world, Michael is now married to Holly and probably has some kids to go along with his full-on middle-aged status. From my recollection, he’s somewhat of a lightweight of a drinker, so I’d imagine that I’d get the most awesomely awkward, funny, and somehow also wise moments out of him after only a few shots at Poor Richard’s. — Intern Evan

Johnny Manziel. He’s probably not long for this earth and I’d like to see what all the hype is about.– John Duda

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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