Writers’ Roundtable: Mother’s Day

Writer's Roundtable

Long gone are the days when all we had to do for Mother’s Day was bring mom some shitty breakfast in bed along with the shitty craft we made in art class. We’re adults now, and you need to take things to a different level when it comes to treating the woman in your life that either raised you or is raising your kids. Our writers weigh in on what’s the gift or way to treat all the mommas out there.

I usually buy my mom two bottles of good booze or one really good bottle of booze. It’s been a tradition that started out as a joke since I was 21. My mom used to buy my friends and I booze underage so I was returning the favor. Not really into cards or flowers because the card is someone else’s words and flowers die. I like to buy practical gifts. — MadoffInvestment

I’m not going to get too revealing since sometimes my mom reads my shit (bless her), but I’m all about treating the most important woman in my life to any sort of way to de-stress. Think spa-oriented gifts, maybe some Bath and Body Works relaxing stuff, things like that. Plus a nice framed picture of her favorite (only) grandchild, because that’s the best gift cop-out ever. — Kyle Bandujo

My mom is one of the hardest people to shop for. That’s why I just get her a card and offer my services dressing up as the Easter Bunny and Santa around the holidays for my niece. I’ll probably get her a bottle of Fireball or SOCO this year too considering those are two of her favorite drinks. Like mother, like son. Love you, MA. — PostGradShibby

At this point in my life, I realize that what my mom values over any gift is quality time spent with her family. In past years my brothers and I would spend the day hiking with her (which I think she secretly hates, but loves the fact that we don’t get any cell service on the trail), and take her out to a nice dinner afterwards. This will be the first year that we will all be apart for Mother’s Day, so I’m working with my brothers to arrange a surprise Skype lunch/dinner (depending on our respective time zones), and of course have her favorite flowers delivered to her. Realistically, this will be about 40 minutes of me trying teach her how to work Skype and a 15 minute conversation with an extreme close up of her forehead, but it’s the thought that counts right? — Nick_Arcadia

My mom deserves more than what is humanly possible to give a person. I would like to take her to see Love Actually on Broadway. I would like to commission a celebrity chef to cook her the best mahi mahi she has ever tasted. I would love to secretly plant a grove of beautiful fruit trees in our backyard. She deserves hand-blown glass vase I made myself to display the bouquet of perennials I imported from Paris. But what am I actually doing? I’m cooking a meal for her myself (odds of it tasting like garbage are decent), and have a pretty cool cheese board picked out. Plus, I already know what photo I’m using for my Instagram. — Best

My mom is getting a sappy post on Facebook, Instagram, AND Twitter. — Improper Brostonian

For Mother’s Day, you have one goal and one goal only: make her cry. Gotta go with the thoughtful stuff here. Surprise visit home. A bracelet with a sappy yet meaningful message or date imprinted on the inside. A first edition of her favorite book. But of course, I’m poor and lazy so I’ll probably make her visit me and plan a weekend that she pays for. Love ya ma. — Tine_Vogue

When I was just a little guy, I’d bring my mom ice cream as a form of breakfast in bed. But ever since, Mother’s Day has largely consisted of me bringing her out to brunch and both of us taking a nap after from all the Bloody Marys. — Will deFries

I usually go with flowers despite her insistence that I’m not to purchase anything. Classic move. Combine that with a visit home, and I’m a top tier son. — Dave

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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