Writers’ Roundtable: Karaoke

Writers' Roundtable

“Christ, he’s headed for the mic again.” We’ve all heard/uttered those words on karaoke night. Karaoke is a classic pastime and can make for an enjoyable night, unless there’s that person who’s trying to be a karaoke hero and sing back to back to back songs. Regardless, everyone needs to have that go-to jam in their back pocket that when their BAC gets high enough they’ve got something to belt out. Our writers give you theirs:

My go to karaoke is Shania Twain’s Man I Feel like a Woman. I’ve sang karaoke like twice in my life. I signed my buddy Allen up for this song. The entire bar chanted for him to go sing it, which he did. He did summon myself and the other guys we were with to help him and we got a rousing applause. I was a really drunk wizard for Halloween that year.– MadoffInvestment

Wagon Wheel. The beauty of this song is getting away with sucking at singing because you just yell the lyrics as loud as you possibly can. Not the Darius Rucker version though. NF.–Delph

If I’m singing karaoke, we all know your boy is heading for some dubstep singles. The crowd goes wild as I’m on stage audibly screaming, “wub wub wub wuuubbbbbb *silence***** (Bass drop.) wwwWwwWUUUwuWUwuWuUUU”
JK, I have a great, albeit hazy, memory of singing “Santeria” by Sublime with some wing woman cougars, on a bachelor party, at the Cat’s Meow in NOLA… .– PostGradShibby

I’m not much of a singer; these pipes weren’t made to belt out the hits. Plus I’ve got some minor stage fright issues. That being said, you get me close to blackout drunk, put a mic in my hand and throw on “Ice Ice Baby” and I’ll tear the doors off that motherfucker.– Kyle Bandujo

If I’m trying to just get by with sounding halfway decent, I’ll pick a Pearl Jam song. Doesn’t matter which one. I’ll know all the words without having to look at the screen and my Eddie Vedder is pretty good. If I’m pretty drunk and want to crank things up to eleven, it’s going to be “Your Love” by The Outfield. Not a chance in hell I can hit that falsetto, but I’m sure as shit going to try.– Improper Brostonian

I personally hate karaoke. Nothing says “we don’t respect the tastes of our clientele” like a bar providing an avenue for sloppy assbags belting out Journey songs over and over. However, there is a video somewhere of me doing the entire Real Slim Shady at some bar in Vera Cruz, Mexico. That was fun.– Icehouse

Friends in Low Places is my favorite karaoke song. It’s just a great “fuck you” tune you can jam out to with a couple other drunkards. And because it’s country, you can generally get away with just talking through it, loudly, albeit. I’m not one for memorizing lyrics but I know every word to that classic.– Cush

When the time comes for me, I’ll probably give “Sussudio” by Phil Collins a shot. Cool people know it, and you can’t help but awkwardly white dude dance when it plays. So much synth. — Dave

I keep three songs in my back pocket for karaoke. The first is Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girls”. I know all the words by heart so it’s easy for me to sing, most people know it, and it usually gets people dancing, which is cool to see when you’re on stage. The second is Afroman’s “Because I Got High”. This is another easy one to sing and it usually elicits a pretty funny reaction from the crowd, because how often do you get to hear Afroman on a night out at the bar? Finally, I’ll sing Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” if I’m feeling brave enough on a given night. I sound atrocious trying to hit the high notes, but in this instance it’s more about putting on a show and the absurdity of a guy singing this from the perspective of a girl. — Chris Bourg

I have be blackout wasted to even consider karaoke, but on the rare occasions it’s happened, my to-go is Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA. Not only is the former Disney star as master lyricist, but there’s not a human alive that doesn’t know the words to that song, so even if you screw up, the crowd will just keep singing along. Plus, it legit gets stuck in everyone’s head. You’re singing it right now aren’t you? “Hopped off a plane at LAX…”– 2NOTBrokeGirls

New York, New York by Frank Sinatra. After someone brings the whole bar down with an awful rendition of Piano Man, there’s nothing like an upbeat tune from old blue eyes to get the energy back up. — Johnny D

Piano Man by Billy Joel. Everybody knows the words and you can switch out the names of the song characters with people in your karaoke party. If you’re quick on your feet you can even make up lyrics.
“Now Kyle at the bar is a friend of mine. We met writing fire for PGP. I tell the jokes, and Shibby brings smokes. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be…
He says JR I believe this is killing me, I don’t know if I’m willing and able. Well I’d rather be pitching and BBQing, if I could finish this fucking Roundtable.”
JR Hickey

Karaoke is my shit. As a washed-up high school chamber singer, I’ll take any excuse to flex my pipes on some squares, especially when alcohol is involved. My go-to is anything Queen. The song varies with my level of intoxication. I could sing “Don’t Stop Me Now” dead sober. After beer 3-4, we slide into “We Are The Champions” territory. Once beer 6 is finished, the lyrics to “Bohemian Rhapsody” suddenly make sense and everyone is welcome to join in. I can promise I’ll still be the loudest.– Best

I’m not joking when I say it’s impossible to find a worse singing voice than my own. I’m pretty self-conscious about it too. But for whatever reason, when I get up on that stage as The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” comes on, I suddenly turn into Brandon Flowers and all haters cease to exist. — Intern Evan

I like to drink as much as possible before getting onstage to sing Kid Rock’s ‘Only God Knows Why’ without looking at the lyrics monitor and walking off after leaving the audience wondering what the hell they just saw.– Will deFries

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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