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Oh, buddy. Oh no. Why? Why did you do this?
Here we have a classic case of an office crush. I get it. It happens, but you’ve GOT to play it cool when thinking about dipping your pen(is) in the company (p)ink. Telling her how you feel straight up can sometimes be a bold and effective strategy, but when you disclose THIS much, you’re booking yourself a one way ticket to a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Oh god. He starts off okay enough. Lets her know he has something he wants to tell her. Make her feel comfortable, but then he hits her over the head with the sex dream hammer and it just goes off the rails from there.
I am shocked she didn’t fall for the “I’ve had a few dreams where you’ve sat on my face” line. That one usually gets them. He really sold out on this one. Threw up a Doug Flutie-esque Hail Mary and ended up like Ryan Leaf. Can’t believe it didn’t work out for you, man.
Oh, one more thing:
[via BroBible]
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
To be fair, at no point during my HR training did they actually say you COULDN’T tell coworkers you jack off to them
so much cringe.
Let’s calm down, it’s only like 10ish.
“Mama, how did you and daddy meet?”
“Well honey, your father stared at me from across the office for months, until he got drunk one night and texted me that he masturbated to me, but only like 10ish times. Oh, love is a wonderful thing.”
What’s she upset about? He didn’t even mention butt stuff.
The real question is what did he expect to happen from this conversation?