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I’ve been to enough spin classes to know that you can’t go in with a laissez-faire attitude. The second you walk into the studio, you’re met with a bunch of people who appear to have mixed their protein smoothies with adderall. The second they get on their respective bikes and a Taylor Swift/Nicki Minaj remix starts thumping through the speakers, it’s on. And if you’re not intimidated by the class itself, the instructor, who looks like they just power-lifted their bike into the studio, will strike the fear of the SoulCycling gods into your heart.
Donna Wood, 42, of New York learned this the hard way per a lawsuit filed with the Manhattan Supreme Court. She allegedly “impaled” her leg on the bike and was left screaming bloody murder for “several minutes” while her classmates immersed themselves in what had to have been one of the most fire spinning playlists ever created.
Per The New York Daily News, “Though (Wood) screamed for assistance, because the class was in cool-down mode and music was still playing loudly and the room still dark, she was not heard or seen for several minutes.”
While I want to knock the rest of the people in the class for their extreme ignorance, it’s simply impossible to decipher what is a cry for help and what is just another random fired up spinner letting out a heartfelt “Whooooo!” or “AHHHHHHHH!” while they’re in the zone. If I hopped off my bike every time someone screamed in the middle of a spin class, I’d get the same amount of cardio as if I had just tossed in some noise-cancelling Bose headphones and ignored everyone while remaining in sprint mode.
To make this story even more millennial than it already is, the SoulCycle studio didn’t even call her an ambulance. Instead, Wood (who was “bleeding profusely”), had to order her own Uber that brought her to the hospital where she received 50 stitches in her leg. But the pain didn’t end there because her leg later became infected, probably due to the insane amount of sweat and germs that lingered in the weight rack that cut her leg in the first place.
While some could criticize the state of humanity or plead for SoulCycle to turn their music down, I’m going to simply ask anyone who attended that class to reach out to the instructor and retrieve their playlist for me. As someone who already somehow receives instructor playlists, this is essential for me.
Next time you enter a SoulCycle class, just remember that the class takes no prisoners and shows no mercy. What may be disguised as a 110-pound woman in Lululemon leggings is actually a blood-thirsty savage with her eyes on the prize. .
[via New York Daily News]
Image via Alli Harvey
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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“That’s right Donna! No pain no gain! You go girl!”
I hope this was Girl.
If she dies, she dies.
I mean 42 is outside the range for a millenial there Will (born in 80’s 90s). Also ambulance rides are pretty expensive so maybe catching an uber was her way of saving a bit on that hefty medical bill….and not surprised on the beta move of actively attending a spin class and suggesting that spin instructors look like power lifters…They at best look like slightly more yoked than xfitters which doesnt mean much cause LOL XFIT.
I hate you.
Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!